Well, it looks like that harpie, Lisa Silverman won the battle to ixnay reggae music at the Fair.
Reggae fans, musicians feel slighted by the fair.
Read my original article about her campaign to stop reggae, cuz of, you know, marijuana
Reggae fans, musicians feel slighted by the fair
June 30th, 2009Rolling the Stones wins 20K at Ultimate Music Challenge
June 30th, 2009
Dudes, it was awesome.! An 11-week cover band contest for a total of 32 thousand dollars in prizes all came to a conclusion last night with the winners being an amazing Rolling Stones tribute band called Rolling the Stones.
I know a lot of you out there are a skeptical of cover bands, but really, you should check this thing out next year – it’s a blast. I’m one of the judges and we do it American Idol style, with judges comments after each band. Can’t tell you how much fun it is. Click here to read my Judge’s Blog.
Of Retarded Retards
June 24th, 2009
“I am not a citizen of the world. I think the entire concept is intellectual nonsense and stunningly dangerous!” —Newt Gingrich
Wow, Newt, you really are a retard.
Now, it should be noted that I do not intend for the word “retard” to be insulting to our mentally handicapped brothers and sisters (Newt gives retards a bad name); rather, “retarded” is meant in its truer, original sense, as in, “regressive,” “stunted” and / or “expressing non-progressive thinking or behavior.” Because that’s exactly what this is—yet another flailing neo-conservative, detached from power and still clinging to the same, goonish, approach to global affairs that nearly ruined us in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »
Armageddon of Queer
(Tearing the very fabric of society)
June 19th, 2009
“I don’t know of any society that has embraced sodomy and survived.”
Pat Robertson
Day 1 (March 27, 2007 – Monday):
I noticed it the moment I awoke; a peculiar feeling that somehow the very fabric of our existence had been altered in some terrible, irreversible manner.
I dragged myself out of bed, walked to the front room, looked out the window, and couldn’t believe what I saw. The sky was black and orange, emergency vehicles whizzed by, a dozen or so stalks of smoke and flame billowed from upturned automobiles, and a dog was trotting down the street with a charred human leg between his foaming jaws.
I retrieved the newspaper and read the headline: Supreme Court Decision Allows Gays to Marry: Very fabric of society torn.”
Facebook | Videos Posted by Jesse Egan: Bartender of the week: Jeanette (”J-Netty makes Chocolate Cakes”)
June 13th, 2009The McMarriage
June 10th, 2009
Well, here comes springtime: time for young lovers to plan their big, badass, expensive weddings. Naturally, I have advice: Don’t you do it! Blow off your over-priced, over-produced, big, badass wedding plans before it’s too late. Yes, I know, many of you ladies have been dreaming your whole life about walking down that aisle. But, trust me, the dream is a lie.
Your wedding will not live up to your fantasy, and the reality is depressing. The average American betrothal costs between $20,000 and $30,000 and will take about five years to repay. And the worst part: It all goes by in a flash. After years of planning, thousands of dollars flushed and all the heartache that typically accompanies preparation, the wedding will end before you barely realize it started.
SORDID TALES OF A BARTENDER IN HEAT
(Introduction)
May 31st, 2009
 Image by Frank Rich of Modern Drunkard Magazine |
Once upon a time, before Sordid Tales, before CityBeat even, there was a column called Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat that appeared in a magazine called SLAMM. It was, as I mentioned in the FAQs, a column about the comedy and the tragedy of the nightclub scene as told by a veteran bartender.
When CityBeat bought SLAMM, the editors and I agreed that it was time to change (slightly) the name and the focus of the column. Hence the shortening of the title to Sordid Tales. There are about 100 of those old bartender Sordids so I will post them here gradually, over time. Stay tuned.
Note: The first article in the string (Turn, Turn, Turn) was the last one I wrote for SLAMM before it was bought out by CityBeat.
EJD
3/31/07
The Definition of Definition
April 30th, 2009Since Miss California’s recent mumble-tastic response to Perez Hilton’s question about gay nuptials, there has been a lot of chatter in the media (again) about the definition of marriage.
A recurring argument by the traditional-marriage crowd, or, as I like to call them, the Anti-Gay Relationship Orthodoxy (AGRO), is that marriage has always been defined as a union between one man and one woman. And guess what? They’re right! In every dictionary I checked, marriage is primarily defined as a union between one man and one woman. What they don’t say is that most words have multiple definitions, such as the words in my trusty American Heritage 3rd Edition, which additionally defines marriage as, simply, “a close union.”
This is not the only problem with the AGRO argument.
Ultimate Music Challenge Returns
April 21st, 2009
Well, it’s that time again. Time for the Ultimate Music Challenge at Viejas’ Dream Catcher Lounge. We just completed Week 1 and it was a blast. Click here to read my Judges’ Blog about it.
Strip Joint Tips
April 16th, 2009
I went to the Hustler strip club last week. What a blast! I forgot how much I enjoy them. Not having a great time in a stripper club is like not having a great time on a Ferris wheel: As long as you don’t do anything stupid and keep your hands inside the car, you will be rewarded with a spectacular view.
For me, the joy of strip bars is broken into two parts:
1. Watching scantily clad sexy mamas dance and undulate and generally be all hot and shit.
2. Watching how men behave in a room full of scantily clad, undulating sexy mamas.
Aside from gay-pride parades and sloshball games, strip clubs are unrivaled when it comes to watching men make jackasses of themselves. The creepy crawlers; the gropers; the old-man golly-jolly seekers; the loser lonelies; the wannabe pimp gangstas; the misogynistas; the inside-the-bar-sunglass-wearing, big-Dan-on-campus, 20-something yuppie twits–all seem to have no idea how to act in a strip club.
Maintaining an exceptional strip-club presence begins with your approach to a strip club: What you think it is. What you think it’s for.
