I stopped in Oceanside for the weekend to wind down. Upon my arrival to the pier, I learned that Oceanside was hosting a national cheerleader competition. It was called Bring it Back to the Beach presented by the California Allstars (www.californiaallstars.com) and was conducted in the area surrounding the Oceanside Pier.
The place was crawling with cheerleaders. There were cheerleaders on their way to compete. There were cheerleaders just returning from competing. There were cheerleaders stretching on grass. There were cheerleaders tumbling on mats. There were cheerleaders chatting and cheerleaders joking. There were even little baby cheerleaders — in their little baby cheerleader skirts smiling little baby cheerleader smiles — and I’m thinking, “Aw, look at the little cheer-chicks in training, aren’t they just the cutest little . . . spawns of Satan that ever walked a planet of evil ever??
I hate cheerleaders. Always have. And not just because I couldn’t date them in high school, although there’s that. I just can’t stand pep. All that smiling and kicking and leaping and bounding and bouncy-hair-having, it’s like the Stepford Wives on diet pills. Or to put it in cheerleader-speak: “Rah rah, sis boom bay!/I’ll take a bi-polar, chip-eating, soap-opera-surfing, couch lizard over these happy peppy bouncy babes any day!”
I hate the whole cheerleading premise: For instance, at a sporting event, it is the cheerleader’s job to tell me when to go “Woo-woo!” Well Sometimes I’m not in the mood to go “Woo-woo.” Sometimes I’d rather go, “You’re a bum Seau!” But if I was in the mood to go woo woo, I wouldn’t need a cheerleader to tell me when. It’s not rocket science you know. You go woo-woo when your team scores a touchdown. You go woo-woo when your team makes an interception and you go Dammit-asshole-shit! when the oaf behind you spills his 20-ouncer down your back.
No sir it is certainly not rocket science. But if it was, do you think I’d consult a cheerleader on how to install the thrust vector control system to the main solid rocket boosters? Hell no. I’ll consult a cheerleader when I need tips on proper glitter application and advanced Thigh Master technology. Until then, “Rah-rah sis bah kaboom!/I can’t see the field honey so get out of my view.”
I know, I know, you’re right, it sounds so mean. I’m sure I’m going to receive all kinds of angry letters from all the cheerleader rights groups demanding a formal apology — which I shall now issue in advance:
Sorry Ms. Cheerleader person, it’s nothing personal. I just hate you.
And here in Oceanside, surrounded by your minions, I feel as though I’ve been beamed up to Planet Pep and any minute now the evil bouncy skirted Peplings will converge upon me and tear my flesh to shreds for displaying too much grump. I can hear them chanting now, “Hi-de, hi-de, hi de ho!/ Mr. Grumpy’s gotta go!”
I hate cheerleader meet and greets too. I hate going to the men’s room of my favorite neighborhood alehouse to find a poster of the Charger Girls all smiling like they’ve just shot their husbands and made off with the insurance. On the bottom of the poster it says, “Meet the Charger Girls, here, Saturday night !” and I’m sitting on the toilet thinking, “Oh, boy! A bunch of self-involved, hyper-plasticized, quarterback fuckers who I haven’t the slightest chance of screwing are coming here to sell me a calendar which I could not, in my right mind, display anywhere in my home? Well woo-woo! Better get there early and get me a good seat.
Here’s an interesting fact: Through the early 1900′s, cheerleading was dominated entirely by males. Yup, all that leaping and bounding and smiling and bouncy-hair having was done by men. And they weren’t called cheerleaders. They were called Yell Marshals. Now that sounds like a cheer master you had to obey.
“Yes sir Mr. Marshal, I’ll say ‘Woo woo’ right away sir.”
Look, I’m all for women participating in sports. But can’t it be a real sport rather than some silly tangent to what the men are doing? Is there anything more Stepford Wife-like than an activity where women jump and smile and giggle in support of males?
If you need further proof that cheerleading is not an acceptable sport, well here it is: There are no good movies made about cheerleading. Baseball has Bull Durham , Hockey has Slapshot , Football has The Longest Yard , and cheerleading has Bring it On – which made The Bad News Bears go to Japan seem like a Jim Jarmusch script.
Even worse is, cheerleading has branched off as a “sport” unto itself.
I look around now at the National Competition here in Oceanside and I don’t see any football happening. I don’t see any touchdowns or interceptions to go woo woo over. All I see are a whole lot of cheerleaders rooting some imaginary team to glorious victory over some other imaginary team – with their jazz fingers rolling and there pep pyramids tumbling and somebody is yelling, “Gooooooo Knights!” – and I’m thinking, “There are no goddam Knights here.” There ain’t no Crusaders either. No Saints, no Giants, no Vikings. No Bulls. No Bruins. No Lions or Tigers or Bears so why? Why why why? There’s no one to root for but you. So you’ll excuse me if I don’t go “Woo-woo.”
EJD
06/15/04
Ed,
Hello, to you my name is cheerleader. I’m interested in your online article and it’s contents. I’ve found several errors which I intend to correct as a way of giving back to the less enlightened such as yourself.
I’m a cheerleader and I’m 16 years old. I’ve never taken diet pills in my life and I’ve never met another cheerleader who has. Also, I’ve never heard a cheerleader on my squad say “woo”. I’ve also never said, nor have I heard another cheerleader say “rah rah sis boom bah”. These sorry excuses for humor on your part are merely manifestations of a long standing and entirely false stereotype.
No, sir, cheerleading is not rocket science. However, neither is writing for an online newspaper. No one said that cheerleading required an IQ of 175, but it does require a great deal of skill, which you refuse to recognize being the close-minded bigot that you are.
Yes, Ed, I called you a bigot. People like you perpetuate ignorance and prejudice. By assigning these characteristics to ALL cheerleaders you are advocating stereotypes. It’s people like you who press the idea that ALL Asians are bad drivers, ALL black people are criminals, and ALL Muslims are terrorists. Do you believe those stereotypes too?
Now to address your misconceptions regarding cheerleading as a sport. Cheerleaders are essentially gymnasts and acrobats who incorporate dance moves and cheers into a routine along with complex stunts and tumbling. While chanting their school name during a performance, they are demonstrating their school pride, which is a factor which judges consider. I wonder, could you land a round-off back handspring back tuck and still have enough breath to cheer while extending a girl into a ground-up liberty? Could you finish with a scorpion to a twist-cradle?
Now for a few tips for a struggling writer. Your writing style reminds me of a pretentious high school newspaper. This sort of humor is elementary at best, providing the reader with cliché after cliché, stereotype after stereotype. Why not base your observations after true life instead of feeding off of the archaic and overworked misconceptions about cheerleaders? This whole article is a masturbatory piece of crap, contributing nothing to the world except for your own pompous delusions.
Sincerely yours, forever and ever,
N
Hello, my name is Callie. I am glad you have your oppinion, however it is wrong, but it is yours to decide. I would like to say what you wrote hurt me. I am a cheerleader, and I used to think like you. Until I tried it. Which is what i want you to do. Not literally, but acutally put some work into what cheerleaders do. We do a lot and i do consider it a sport. Thank you for your oppinion, you are a very good writer. Maybe you should try using it for something positive instead of hurting people. I work at least 3 hours a day on my “sport” it’s not always fun, but I love it. Thank you for your “apology” if that is what you can call it, because you did not mean it. Cheerleading is not all about cheering other teams on, infact that is the part I like least. It is about stunting, rutines, competitions, and winning. I hope that you will look more into it. I am sorry for whatever really happened to you from a cheerleader, it must have been something bad if you hate us so much. Thank you for your time, and I am off to go cheer at a basketball game.
Callie
^Whatever. I personally don’t care for cheerleading or cheerleaders. And yes, I’ve tried it, didn’t like it, and thought it was pointless. I’m 16 also, and I’ve done Martial Arts for ten years, as well as played JV boys lacrosse and hockey, though I’m female. Those are sports. I don’t consider cheerleading a sport as it has more exibitionary purposes as opposed to others. Cheerleading as I see it, is meant as entertainment fluff that happens at half time to provide you with time to grab a Mountain Dew from the concession stand. So there’s gymnastics an aerobics. That’s nice. It’s essentially the same moves arranged differently every time to different music. It lacks the urgency and hustle found in -real- sports.
—>Also, I make costumes as a hobby, and am practicing professional theatrical make-up. Recently I went to a Costuming Convention in my state. It was unbeknownst to me however, that a cheerleading competition was happening that whole weekend in the same convention center. I was exitibing a new costume I had made, which was painfully Victorian-era inspired. The cheerleaders wandering aimlesslessly into the costuming convention that paused to inquire about my costume were unbelieveably historically ignorant. One girl asked me if I was from the 50′s.
Yes, I’m serious and no, I’m not a bigot nor do I encourage stereotyping. I am simply stating my opinion, and an unbiased observation.
Hi. I am a cheerleader for California All-Stars and i was at Oceanside on that very day. If you even looked for a NANO SECOND to what us cheerleaders do you would be sorry you even thought this. we do not take diet pills, we do not yell “RAH RAH SIS BOOM BAH!”, and your stupid comment: “I’ll consult a cheerleader when I need tips on proper glitter application” is a total stereotype. Now I know this is just your opinion, but you could at least have NOT insulted us cheerleaders. And you your information, cheerleading IS a sport. “Athletes lift weights. Cheerleaders lift other athletes.” People are impressed at what cheerleaders can do. We can tumble, dance, and lift people WITHOUT taking a break. It takes a lot of strength to keep up. I would like to see YOU try to do that. So until you have, don’t judge us=).
I hate you(:
Go suck yr dick.
Where to begin? Well, I’ll start by saying that I really don’t care for cheerleading. All you girls who do, great for you. You can think it’s super and what-not, but you can’t convince me to think the same way as you. Why, do you ask?
1) All the cheerleaders in my school were bitches. Like, they hated everyone who weren’t in the exclusive “only for 10 people” cliche.
2) I’ve never seen them once do anything that I haven’t/couldn’t done/do. I was in marching band for three years in high school, and the two are vastly similar. You memorize a set of movements set to music. Only real difference is: in marching band you play your own music. Also, I am not trying to say marching band is a sport. I don’t think it is. It, like cheerleading, is a physical activity.
3)”Athletes lift weights, cheerleaders lift athletes”? Bullshit. First, I have never seen a cheerleaer lift a weight ever. And second, they only lift the smallest girl on the squad, and it takes four of them! At my high school, the varsity cheerleading squad ALWAYS lifted up this girl who weighted only 90 pounds or something. and there were ALWAYS FOUR OF THEM TO DO IT? WHO HERE CAN LIFT 22.5 POUNDS OVER YOUR HEAD?
4) They all say “I’d like to see you try!” OK! if I practice as much as you to do a little dance routine, then I bet I can too. I have never seen anything in cheerleading that couldn’t do WITH PRACTICE. I couldn’t just pick it up right off the bat. the same way any cheerleader has to practice, I would have too to, but THEN i would be able to do everything they do.
5) People make fun of cheerleaders because they don’t push themselves. Sure they have to eat right, and they run a mile or so before practice and stuff, but what sport doesn’t? Try squatting in a defensive position for football, your legs will hurt for days afterwards. Try running sprints again and again for track. try taking a hit from that giant 500 pound lineman on the other team. While you yell and stuff on the side lines, people like me are on the field taking care of business. cheerleaders are on the sidelines, real athletes are on the field.
Hello there,
I’m gunna let you in on a secret of cheerleading that almost all cheerleaders I’ve meet know and understand. You ready? We love being sooooo peppy all the time, cause we know it pisses people like you off. oops! sorry. Haha. If you ever actually stopped to listen to what those preppy girls say outside of their cheers youd start to understand that we’re just all really good at putting on happy faces. How about some choice quotes from my favorite cheerleaders…
“Oh, she is so fucking orange, I want her…”
“Why does our team SUCK so much…
It’s cause he’s got the clap…”
“Girls we look really stupid right now you know that right?
Yea…”
“If you feel stupid then your doing it right…”
“Why aren’t you smiling?
It’s to early in the morning to be a cheerleader.
If you don’t smile coach is gunna be pissed…”
and my favorite…
“Girls we’re all in pain here, I have a fever and a concussion and people have spained wrists… But if you don’t smile we’re doing it AGAIN!”
hi, im a varsity cheerleader not all of them are popular dateing the varsity football quaterback yes im blonde blue eyes and have freckles but i have short hair shot short short hair my family life sucks im dateing a milltary lacrosse guy none of the girls on my team are wat u describe DONT JUDGE PPL it makes u sound stupid i broke my wrist trying to make sure my flyer didnt hit ground. try throwing a 100 lb girl in the air and catching as she is sping out of a push full skorpin ya !!!!!!!!!!
GO RAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all cheerleaders arent bitches
you ass
Oh, so what you’re saying is that cheerleaders, apart from being just great at everything ever in the world, can also act?
What you’re saying is that you guys think exactly the same as most kids except you “are really good at putting on happy faces”, is that it? that, sister, is acting. i was also in drama for 5 years at my school. i can also act/ put on a happy face even if i am thinking something totally different inside.
But maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I was talking about girls at my school who where cheerleaders. and the majority of them were shallow bitches who actually DID talk about cheerleading ALL the time. There were a feel who i actually liked (we were friends) but the majority were stupid and mean to all but the “POPULARS”
But if you want me to say it, I will. Cheerleading is hard. there i said it. it takes a toll on your body. It requires practice and coordination and almost everything other sports require. know why it isn’t a sport though? there often are no surprises. You memorize your cheer, and you preform it. There are no other teams to suddenly see through your play and make an interception nor you really able to improve yourself. i know, you can get better at dancing and stuff, but you’re only as good as your routine, right? do they allow any improvisation?
So… if i quit cheerleading suddenly I’m not a stuck up, popular girl, on diet pills, and my IQ goes up? Could it really be that easy? I’m severely doubtful. Cheerleading isn’t who I am, it’s what I do. It’s easy to discriminate agaisnt something that other ignorant people already belittle. Pretty brave to pick on a sport that already has a stereotype to fight. Or maybe it’s that you just enjoy creating conflict and possibly upsetting cheerleaders. However you wish to spin it, discrimination of any type is quite simply horrific. Oh, and maybe the reason many cheerleaders get attractive boyfriends is because we smile. Because we know the stereotype, and we cheer anyways. Because some of us are extraordinary people who happen to cheerlead. And because even if we do fall, we manage to make falling look so damn good.
First off:
Cheerleaders DON’T go “whoo”.
NEVER.
And secondly: You’re pathetic, and sorry to hear you were never able to date a cheerleader! You missed out on a social life!
ITS HARD TO BE HUMBLE WHEN YOU CAN STUNT AND TUMBLE! haha your a jerk who probably has an ugly wife/girlfriend or lives with cats
My wife is smoking hot, and I have one cat, Simba – who could scratch out your eyeballs and leave you in the corner of the gym, bleeding and quivering and crying tears of blood into your stupid pom-poms.
i hate you im a cheerleader and im nothing like that so you need to rethink
Look there are only two nice cheerleaders on my team and it sucks because all the rest of them ignore me even if I say hi. One of them was my BFF in elementry school, but when I got to middle school she became a cheerleader and suddenly found the right to ignore me. Also, one day at the dance one of my friends liked a boy that that cheerleader also liked and so during hte dance she comes up to my friend and says,” I’m sorry he’s a little occupied right now, if you know what I mean”. And then she goes up to the boy and starts making out with him, that day really ticked me off!
Look there are only two nice cheerleaders on my team and it sucks because all the rest of them ignore me even if I say hi. One of them was my BFF in elementry school, but when I got to middle school she became a cheerleader and suddenly found the right to ignore me. Also, one day at the dance one of my friends liked a boy that that cheerleader also liked and so during hte dance she comes up to my friend and says,” I’m sorry he’s a little occupied right now, if you know what I mean”. And then she goes up to the boy and starts making out with him, that day really ticked me off!
Cheerleaders don’t say “Whoo”. Ever.
Not all cheerleaders are popular, stupid, and have boyfriends on the football team.
Cheerleaders get the crowd pumped up and give the team a boost.
Cheerleading is a sport. We train, practice, have to stay in shape and look out for each other. And like any team we have to trust each other.
And we smile because of the feeling you get when you nail that stunt you’ve been working on for weeks. The only time we don’t smile is when a flyer hits the ground.
Ed, you are my hero! I hate the everything that cheerleading represents: Sex, Sex and Sex!!
I put this on Facebook. Please note that not all scenarios apply to your opinion. Also, it’s not just cheerleaders that can be brats. It could be anyone. Basketball player, volleyball player, etc. I am truly sorry for any trouble you experienced. Cheerleading is not by any mean easy. Try getting a hard tumbling pass in a week… With very little tumbling experience, WITHOUT freaking and breaking your neck, ankle, etc. I can’t change your mind, but I can help inform you and others who agree with you.
Alright, I want to put this out there.
Please don’t be so narrow-minded. What I think a lot of people are talking about are the NFL “cheerleaders”. Guys, they’re just dancers with pom-poms. Blame them for all the crap about cheerleaders being sluts. I’m sure there’s more to the story than any of us know, but in my eyes, some of them must think that all it takes to be a cheerleader is pom-poms.
WRONG.
As a high school cheerleader myself, I can speak for a lot of other cheerleaders out there that we’re getting sick and tired of the stereotypes.
I’ll admit it, I ran a Google search on “I hate cheerleaders” just to see what would pop up, and I take full responsibility for subjecting myself to this.
What bothers me the most is that GROWN ADULTS who are well into their adult years hate cheerleaders and STILL believe the stereotypes. I’d just like to think they can be a bit more mature.
Whatever type of cheer it is, rec, school sideline, school competitive, or allstar, we work hard, and some schools just have to go and revive the reputation most cheerleaders are trying to get rid of. This is my 6th year cheerleading, and I believe that it is my sport.
Please, do yourself a favor and run a YouTube search on either of the following: “Cheer Extreme Senior Elite”, “Top Gun Jags”, “Maryland Marlins Tsunami”, or “Maryland Twisters F5″. Granted, they’re allstar teams, but IMO they’re the best of the best from the (U.S.) Large Senior Level 5 division, and the teams that qualify to go to Worlds each year train every day for 5-6 days, for 4 hours each day. That’s 20 hours in 5 days. Think YOU could do that?
If you’re a HS cheerleader, depending on your school, you have to retain and memorize cheers, chants, dances, motions, and above all, critiques. True story – I just moved to a new state, and I was told that I could come to a few Varsity practices at the HS that I go to, though it was understood that it was too late in the season for me to actually be a part of the team. Within a week and half of starting school, I found out by the coach that I had made the Varsity team. Let me tell you, trying to retain 40 or so cheers within a week and a half is very stressful (on top of trying to catch up with the cirriculum here), but I did it.
I live in a northern state, and the south is extremely competitive with their cheer teams, so granted, we don’t work as hard as they do in the south, but my school also has a competitive team that won the State Champion title not too long ago.
Please, don’t generalize a sport you virtually know nothing of.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a wonderful day! ♥