Dictionary.com defines anti-Semite as: "One who discriminates against or who is hostile toward or prejudiced against Jews," which I am not. I am hostile toward the religion that I believe blinds them. Orthodox religions. All of them. As for the Jews themselves, I love 'em. I Love Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce. I love Adam Sandler and his epic Jew song. Sarah Silverman? Fucking Love her! I love the look, the feel, the taste, and the sound of Jew. I love Jewish weddings, love all that clapping. I love Jewish music, love Klezmer. I love Adam Gimbel's Jews Explosion band. And I love, love, love the shit out Garry Shandling. How you gonna call me a Jew hater when I love Garry Shandling?

Email: ".... the article was especially upsetting in that it asserted that Judaism is disrespectful to women. This is simply not true: Judaism treasures women immensely." Adam Sragovicz/San Diego, California

Response: The Taliban treasure their women also. That's why females receive a public flogging for exposing a little ankle. Because a woman's carnality is so treasured it must be protected at all costs.

Email: "I think it's refreshing to see an artist that has values and abides by the Hassidic custom that all one's physical contact belongs to one's spouse. Imagine how secure his wife must feel in her love knowing her husbands values." "Rabbi Chaim Bryski/Director Chabad Jewish Center of Thousand Oaks

Response: Rabbi, how much security could you have when you demand women cover their hair and skin and disallow even the most platonic contact? Real true security can never come from obscuring the goods. It can only come from a mutual, impenetrable trust between partners, rare though it be.

Message Board Post: "Sir, [your] screed against Matisyahu is a piece of Jew-hate. . . Would [you] have had the balls to say the same thing about a strict Muslim?" I Randolph S Shiner

Email: "Had Matisyahu been Amish, or from another religious sect that had similar negative commandments I am positive your article would have been very different." Ari A. Burack

Post: "Decker wouldn't be reacting that way if it was Muslim in a robe singer who refused to shake women's hands because of his religion. Or a Buddhist in a Tunic, etc..." The Town Crier

Response: If Matisyahu was an Amish rapper, I would have written the same thing. If he was an orthodox Muslim oompa-tuba player, I would have written the same thing. Which is this: "Orthodoxies suck ass." They are primarily about controlling the masses in order to preserve the old ways, and when it comes to respecting women, the old ways suck ass. As for Buddhists, I don't know of any misogynistic behavior or other bigotries in that particular religion.

Post: "I enjoyed Mr. Decker's article much better in the original German. The editing just isn't what it was when Goebbels was on staff." Matit yahu

Response: That's funny. I laughed out loud at that. However, just because it's funny doesn't make it true. It is not religious criticism that defines a Nazi, but actual, tangible, oppressive behavior that pulls you closer to Hitler's bosom - behavior like trying to take me off search engines - something I would never in a million years dream of doing. So who's Nazier, you are me?"

Post: "Decker has twisted the reason why men do not shake hands with women. It is out of mutual respect for both that shomer negiah exists." Diane_RG

Response: I never twisted the reason. I never even submitted a reason for shomer negiah. Because it doesn't matter what the reason is. When a group is being oppressed their can be no reasons that justify it. All tyrants have "reasons" behind their cruelty. And when I look at your religion - albeit from the outside - I see real true cruelty toward women. (A cruelty that has driven many women out of your religion.) Like the aforementioned Laws of Modesty, that require women to cover their hair, arms and necklines. Like how they may not wear perfume. Like how women must be separated from men during prayer. Like a certain prohibition called Kol isha, which means, with varying degrees of strictness among tribes, that women are not supposed to sing when men are present. Like the fact that women can't be Rabbis or even lead a prayer. Like how marriage contracts are drawn and enforced by men and how woman cannot initiate a divorce yet according to the Talmud a man may divorce his wife, "Even if she burnt his meal," or, "If he found another more beautiful than she." Which shouldn't be hard now that he's got her all covered up and frumpy.

Still not convinced that women are dissed in Hasidic culture, then consida Niddah: The most offensive and egregious Orthodox Jewish custom of all. Also known as The Law of Separation, women who are menstruating are deemed impure and untouchable. No man may touch her when she is menstruating, not even her husband and I just don't care what the reason is, it's fucking cruel man. It's exile. You have taken the very essence of her womanhood and made it filthy. Add all this to the quotes about women being a "pitcher of filth," and all the other misogynistic literature in the Torah and Talmud and it just seems blatantly clear that if you're Hassidic and not disrespecting women then you ain't doing it right.

Incidentally, I did receive 2 positive responses, one of which was from my mom (a Catholic) who wrote this just before the email firestorm hit: "Wow, you sure were rough on the poor Hasidics. Maybe even rougher than when you go after the poor Catholics. I wonder if any Hasidics will read it?" (Um, yeah mom, they read it.) And also one from Geoff Welliver of Walnut Creek, CA, who said it best of all (paraphrased): "Imagine not shaking the hands of blacks and saying it's because you respect them too much. Treating people different because of race is racism. Treating people different because of sex is sexism."

So no Adam, I'm not an anti-Semite. I do not think there is a Jewish conspiracy. I believe in Israel's right to exist. If Jews really do run Hollywood, I don't care. Ditto banks. I believe in the holocaust and the current official death toll. I don't think Jews are cheap, but if they are, I don't care. It is their prerogative. I never make derogatory statements like, "You Jewed me out of my money." And even though I know it's wrong to say "Some of my best friends are Jewish," I don't care. Some of my best friends are Jewish. When did saying so become a bad thing? Oh and guess what? My bride - she's a Jew. Every Passover, I go to her parent's house, put on the yarmulke, orate quotes from the Haggadah, break matzah and feel no guilt about it whatsoever because nobody in my wife's family shits on women.

This column originall appeared in CityBeat on March 22, 2006

This article originally ran in San Diego CityBeat Magazine.

• Click here to read the angry responses sent to CityBeat letters department.

• Click here to read the Jewish Sightseeing story about this column.

• Click here to read the Jewish Sightseeing interview with me about my column.

• Click here to read a multiple-post, message board attack on me and this column including my comments near the bottom.

• Click here to read a blogger deconstruct my posts on the previous board.

• Click here to read the original column about Matisyahu

EJD
03/22/06