"I hate gay people. I let it be known. . . I don't like homosexuality.
It shouldn't be in the world, or in the United States."
Former NBA player Tim Hardaway
I was troubled by the way the public, the media, the NBA, and the homosexual community all pounced on Tim Hardaway after he made that statement on a Miami radio station a few weeks ago. He was responding to a question about Don Amaechi, the former NBA player who recently wrote a coming-out book detailing his chronicles about being gay in the NBA.
OK, sure, what Tim Hardaway said was as Neanderthalian as a protruding occipital bone, but I must admit to being a little impressed by the old baller. To say what he said, at a time when it is highly dangerous to criticize minority groups publicly, well that took nads. There is just far too much political correctness running around right now, and I can’t help but feel a little glee every time somebody tells the Political Correctness Police to go jump in the lake.
Political correctness is nothing more than your run-of-the-mill lie. When you’re being politically correct, you are telling a lie, and you are telling it for the same reason that most lies are told: to protect yourself. And the reason people have to protect themselves by lying in public is because of this attack-dog mode the masses go into when somebody says something society deems taboo.
Now, I don’t give a flying box of petrified camel turds about Tim Hardaway’s feelings, but when we ravage a man’s entrails for making unpopular statements, I wonder what message that sends to all those people out there who also have fringe ideas—all those necessary, unpopular ideas that we aren’t hearing because it’s too dangerous to utter them.
I mean, this is the problem, isn’t it? It’s why so few people speak frankly anymore. It’s why there’s so much blah-blah-blah out there, all this blah-blah-blahing pouring out of our radios and televisions and newspapers—one giant glob of blasénnaise smeared across the country like a soggy ham sandwich.
Besides, what if tomorrow we discover that Hardaway and all his stone-age sympathizers were right about gays. What if tomorrow we learn that a malevolent order of homosexual warlocks have been implanting computer chips into people’s skulls and reprogramming their sexuality to recruit them into their army of gay zombies? I know it’s a stretch, but so was the notion of a round planet.
And when Nicolaus Copernicus started shooting his mouth about the sun not revolving around the Earth, it sounded as preposterous then as my homosexual warlock story sounds now. The point is, we’ve dismissed so many clearly accurate ideas throughout history that we really can’t be trusted to judge for ourselves which ones are or aren’t credible, so it’s in our best interest to just hear them all.
Incidentally, Hardaway’s prejudices are the dregs of an ancient defense mechanism passed on to us by our Paleolithic ancestors to be fearful and loathing of unknown others, largely because those unknown others often raided their camps, raped their women and leeched off their cable. Hardaway, bless his cold, gray soul, is just a little more connected to our ancestors than most. John Amaechi, not so much. Amaechi is a modern man, an articulate man. About Hardaway’s remarks, Amaechi said this in an ESPN interview, “His words create an atmosphere that allows young gays and lesbians to be harassed in school, creates an atmosphere where in 33 states you can lose your job [for being gay]…. We should be creating an atmosphere where the natural diversity of things [is] embraced.”
So true, so true, my valiant warrior queer. But then, isn’t Hardaway’s worldview part of that diversity also, prehistoric though it may be? And speaking of being fired for oppressive reasons—Hardaway was fired, too. At the time of his remarks, Hardaway was working for the NBA, which subsequently canned and banished him from the all-star weekend. Canned and banished!? Simply for exercising his right to speak his mind? Talk about oppression.
What I’m trying to say, my dear gay brothers and sisters, is that there is a big difference between oppression and discrimination: Oppression is when you are denied marital or adoptive rights or are fired from your job for being gay, black or whatever. Discrimination is a preference. We all have the right to choose our acquaintances, to be discriminative about our associations. But we do not have the right to oppress those with whom we will not associate.
What I’m trying to say, my homo Homo sapien friends, is this, "Don’t stoop to Tim Hardaway’s level. Don’t punish him for being who he is just as you don’t want to be punished for being who you are.
I’m saying, "Don’t ostracize others who say things you disagree with—no matter how distasteful."
I’m saying, "There are social consequences for squelching voices and, at the least, you should be aware of what those consequences are before doing so."
I’m saying, "Come on, gays—must everybody like you? Can’t it be OK for somebody to hate you?" That’s how it is. For every group there is somebody who hates it, and yours is no different.
I’m saying, look, I know what y’all went through, and what you are still going through, right here, right now—the continuing oppression of homosexuals in America. And you certainly have good reason to be sensitive when some suprainiac-fossa*-sporting, knuckle-dragging proto-Neanderthaloid gets on the radio and starts grunting, “Homo bad!” for all the world to hear. But it is exactly that heightened sensitivity that makes you ill-suited to be objective about being victimized. You are gun-shy. You see oppression, often times, where there is none. You were not oppressed by Tim Hardaway. He was not wrong for saying what he said, and it’s just so terribly awful, rotten and un-sapien of you, and anyone else, to oppress him in return. Peace.
* The suprainiac fossa is a groove in the occipital bone of the Neanderthal skull, now obsolete.
FYI -- Most of the comments posted below were emails to the editor of CityBeat, the magazine in which this article originally appeared. I posted the emails here after the fact.
Click here to read column I wrote in response to these emails
03-07-07
Comments (11)
I used to like you....Until I realized you're an ignorant douche bag.
Your opinon is wrong on so many levels. Nay, it is your opinon, but come on... did you really have to say it? you just had to share it with us.... for what? it's useless...
Your simple minded definition of political correctness as being a lie, is well, the stupidest thing I've heard this year.
Why don't you say this to Michael Shepard's mother? You know the fag martyr who was beaten with a gun tied to the fence and left to die. Or do you not have the balls to...
also, don't insult us homos with your false compasion.
Do you know what it feels like to have 400 dollars taken from your pay check every week knowing that it's going to support a government that in turn wastes that money on efforts to pass laws to tell me who i can and who i can not marry.... i mean, do you know how fucking frustratng that is? no. because you're not a faggot. your straight, right? or do you take it up the ass a little here and there?
So, it's cool for me to call Tim Hardaway a stupid nigger... in your world...
I can call my boss a jew bastard, and not worry about losing my job?
you know what... you're a fucking idiot.
get it.
M. Montone
Posted by M. Montone | March 27, 2007 2:41 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:41
First of all - if your gonna say something - you should be ready to face the consequences - yes this is a free country - say what you want to - but its just as free for organizations that inspire youth and try to make a positive remodel for our children to decide who they want to represent them. The NBA is just as free to get rid of some bigot who preaches hate towards a demographic of people that includes all types of us, white, black, male, female, young and old. It was people like hardaway that encouraged me to hate myself when i was growing up - and the more censoring our community can do of bigots like that - the better for developing people with better mindsets.
Hate is an evil thing to preach and if some fool has a stage like the NBA and is allowed to encourage the filthiest behavior - hate - than people should be allowed to not sponsor that hate in return if they wanted to. any actions against that fool - other than government issued punishments - should be acceptable. If I, a caucasian, stood up and said the "N-word" in an all black neighborhood - great - its a free country, however, I should be willing to accept their feedback as well. The author of that article should've wasted his time trying to encourage Mr. Hardaway to be a better role model than to preach his thoughts on how we should all sit back and enjoy this discrimination and how we shouldn't respond to it at all. I guess it's more important to him to quench our reactions to such perverted discrimination than to check the people that get paid the most in our society and have such an influence on the most important people, our youth.
There are a few people I have in mind that preached such hate, had a stage, and had people supporting them that disagreed with people who were opposed to them preaching that hate - and tried to quiet them. Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, and too many more haters that our world spawns.
Sam Tabor
Posted by Sam Tabor | March 27, 2007 2:42 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:42
While I was reading that article I was so disgusted and outraged - I felt dizzy and naucious, and everything seriously started spinning. I know that sounds lame - but I couldn't believe someone would be telling another community that is discriminated to chill out (which is like defending the bigot's remarks) instead of being concerned with how to actually make a positive contribution. It was totally going backwards in mentality - like instead of trying to progress or improve - you are trying to justify being ignorant and allowing someone of importance to continue something as vulgar as hating - while trying to promote him to do it more by not even calling him out on something wrong he's doing.
While reading that article, again - i'm embarrased I got sick off of it - I'm mature and have dealt with more evil and sinister type people before - but I couldn't stop my emotions from clouding my ability to read accurately any further. In what I did read - i got the impression that something happened to this Hardaway, maybe he didn't get fired - but something stupid happened to him, (maybe dropped as an endorsement or something). what ever it was - it obviously (or hopefully) was important enough to piss off Mr. Decker to the point where he felt it was necessary to write in defense of bigotry with the disguise of labeling anything else as oppression. Maybe he didn't get fired - I know i should read the article again - but honestly - it was too pathetically immature and disheartening to read - so I won't, but if he wasn't fired - something happened to him, I recall, that was a result of his "words" that Decker didn't agree with.
And yes - you can get fired from a job for your beliefs. If we continue down the road that Decker suggests - yes for being Jewish, or being some other belief follower - because that's all based on ignorance. But I know I will get fired from my job - I promote for a club - if I am immature and discriminate people while at work - or anytime I'm representing my establishment. I would get fired from any other job if I said "nice vagina baby - can i get into it" - which of course i should get fired for. So Mr. Becker - hopefully if people realize what the difference between ignorance and arogance is they can realize the difference between discrimination and oppression. I think your argument was at a third grade level and your supporting evidence, and your use of correlation between your accusations needs serious reassessment -especially if your writing for something people actually read. Yes I know my response is full of mistakes and problems you will most definately fix and send back to me to burst my bubble, but mind you I can admit I need to improve, im still in school, and I just read some piece of trash-work, from a magazine I usually enjoy, and am overly emotional from it - which makes it hard to be concerned with my proper writing skills. You have reminded me of this time when i was in the gay neighborhood (or as you may call it: the Faggithood) and I saw this older man driving a van screaming "fucking faggits" out his window at a crowd that happened to be near the street - most of whom didn't even look gay. The best thing was (for someone like you) was the little kid in the backseat who was looking out his window with his hands on the glass - smiling as his dad was teaching him how to hate.
Great article Mr. Decker - keep it up and hopefully one day we'll see your son walk on by watching some fag getting his ass kicked in the streets - when he could help but chooses not to because people like you think its more important for people to be allowed to hate than it is to try to encourage them not to.
Ill pray for you and your family later tonight - instead of curse you out - ill try the opposite of what you promote dude.
Peace - and i mean that too
Samuel Rumes Tabor
Posted by Sam Tabor | March 27, 2007 2:45 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:45
Edwin Decker in "A Message to Gays" (March 7, 2007) said he "was troubled by the way the public, the media, the NBA and homosexual community all pounced on [athlete] Tim Hardaway" after Hardaway famously said, "I hate gay people. I let it be known...I don't like homosexuality. It shouldn't be in the world, or in the United States." According to Decker in the last paragraph of his piece, people's adverse verbal reactions to Hardaway's gay-bashing comments constituted a case of the "Political Correctness Police" who wanted to "oppress [Hardaway] in return."
Oppression? I'll grant Decker that the only remotely arguable "oppression" I could imagine was the NBA's decision to not allow Decker to play in an all-star game the weekend of his comments. So Decker should direct his "oppression" whine to the NBA only. Otherwise, I don't give a shit if uberwhiner Decker is "troubled" by the purely verbal responses of other people - in this case, a whole lot of them - who would equally have a right to their opinions to denounce Hardaway with a similar sentiment: "I hate homophobes. I let it be known...I don't like homophobia. It shouldn't be in the world, or in the United States."
In Decker's ideal world, people who have been truly, historically, institutionally and systematically oppressed (like homosexuals) should JUST SHUT THE HELL UP when people with power and influence fuel continuation of that genuine oppression. Did I get that right, Decker? What a miserable hypocrite and a weakling you are, favoring the privilege of the powerful. And Hardaway? Shame on your loser parents who taught you "It's all about me." You won't be missed.
Decker's sentiment echoed fellow CityBeat uberwhiner Tony Phillips' piece dated November 29, 2006. Phillips got bent out of shape over the widespread public denunciation of comedian Michael "Kramer" Richards as a "racist" due to the obviously intentionally exclusionary tone of his "nigger" rant at a Hollywood comedy club. So what if people think Kramer's a racist? They have just as equal a right to their opinions as Richards does to his unfortunate ones. So Philipps: Should historically oppressed people JUST SHUT THE HELL UP in situations like that, as well? Yeah, I agree with you that the people attempting to sue Kramer's comedy club were greedy opportunists.
But Decker and Phillips, when the intent of your writings is to discourage dissent from the voices of the systematically marginalized while championing the freedom of speech of exclusionary assholes, what the hell are you both doing writing for a supposedly progressive newspaper like CityBeat? Shouldn't you be writing for Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter - defending George W. Bush's precious right to freedom of speech while simultaneously discouraging dissent of his "politically correct" critics who are "oppressing" him?
Clarito T. Aradanas
Ocean Beach
Posted by Clarito T. Aradanas | March 27, 2007 2:47 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:47
Gee.............apparently some people were upset by Edwin Deckers March 7
column " A Message to Gays" . How anyone could have read that and come away
thinking Citybeat or Decker " stand behind the statements made by Hardaway "
is beyond me . The piece was subtitled " The difference between discrimination
and oppression " which was the point after all . A point apparently lost on some
folks who couldn't get past Deckers purposely provocative reasoning .
l personally have no problem with gay people for being gay , but can certainly
relate to Deckers view that as a group they can be a little overly sensitive .
Anyone who was unaware that there are still people in this world who think
like Hardaway needed a reality check anyway . The fact that he exposed
himself as a bigot should serve to remind people that there is still a long way
to go.
Anyone who found Deckers column distasteful should feel free to discriminate
against him by no longer reading it . But please don't call for his oppression ,
some of us look forward to hearing what he's got to say .
Bruce Laundrie
San Diego
Posted by Bruce Laundrie | March 27, 2007 2:49 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:49
Hello. My name is Amanda Strouse. I'm a journalism junior at SDSU and the Opinion Editor at The Daily Aztec. Below is my letter to the editor, which I really hope will get published in your magazine. . .
Discrimination. Oppression. Arrogance. These are all tasteless animosities that minorities and majorities in our country alike try so strongly and passionately to get rid of forever. In Edwin Decker’s attempt of a professional, explanatory column, “A message to gays” on March 7, he embarrasses himself by taking Tim Hardaway’s anti-gay side. His entire column is immature, offensive, narrow-minded and disgustingly prejudiced. Some things he wrote were so terribly discriminating and unintelligent that I felt sick to my stomach. “I’m saying, come on, gays — must everybody like you? Can’t it be OK for somebody to hate you? That’s how it is. For every group there is somebody who hates it, and yours is no different.” Wow. What a childish, brainless remark. Decker, for your information, there are hundreds of social groups organized around our country, working hard by devoting their time, money and energy to spread the word of equality. The point of these groups is to stop the sickening prejudice that some Americans think is OK, like the crap you wrote. Decker — you’re trying to solve a serious problem like a child and the main issue went right over your head. Accepting the hatred and bigotry in this country does not make the United States a better place to live, learn and grow, and that idea sure doesn’t make a professional column! I’m honestly appalled that you think those terrible things about homosexuals and I’m shocked that the magazine rightfully published it. You should be punished for your intolerant and insensitive views. How dare you say “He [Hardaway] was not wrong for saying what he said.” He has made multiple public apologies for his homophobic remarks, thank goodness, and you should as well. People like you are the ones who stump this country’s (and world’s) growth via diversity, and you should be embarrassed. I hope you understand that people in all groups — gays, lesbians, minorities and majority groups — greatly disagree with you. There are plenty of people in this country that give all that they can so that people as irrational and unmerited as you can understand that groups shouldn’t be hated. No one anywhere should hate a group because they're different. It’s OK to hate a particular person due to a negative encounter (just like how I hate you), but it is not OK for you to hate a group of people just because they're different than you. I can only hope for your sake, the sake of your magazine and the sake of your readers that you one day open your eyes and comprehend what I’m explaining to you. Your column was chauvinistic, repulsive and useless. Decker: Don’t ever write anything like that again.
Amanda Strouse
Posted by Amanda Strouse | March 27, 2007 2:50 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 14:50
Most of the comments you have read here were sent to CityBeat magazine, the paper in which this article first ran
EJD
Posted by Edwin Decker | March 27, 2007 7:08 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 19:08
I request that you do not publish my correspondence to you with my name attached to it (it's too controversial, and I am in a semi-public position). You do have my permission to publish it as "Name withheld by request", however. If you cannot honor this request, then please treat it as for your own internal purposes only.
In regard to the content of my attached/appended letter, I was amused by Tony Phillips's contention in his column in the March 14 issue that "Certainly [Police Chief Bill Lansdowne] would not have said those things no matter how many short, fat, diabetic, gay minorities killed a neighbor." Maybe the police chief wouldn't have said such things, but CityBeat apparently feels perfectly comfortable printing them.
Sure, I laugh at Dave Chapelle and Sarah Silverman, and I defend their right to promote their own brand of humor. But Tim Hardaway is not Dave Chapelle, Ann Coulter is not Sarah Silverman (though she apparently thinks she is), and Peter Pace sadly never got beyond Leviticus.
Best,
anonymous
**********************************************************************************************
Either Ed Decker’s “A message to gays” [“Sordid Tales”, March 7] was great timely satire, or he’s in some weird Zeitgeist conspiracy with Ann Coulter and (Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman) Peter Pace. If Ed is such a principled, high-minded, equal opportunity kind of guy, let’s turn the tables around and see him write another patronizing, condescending, smart-ass column telling Tim Hardaway—whose homophobic comments he so staunchly defends—that he is likewise being too politically correct and sensitive “to be objective about being victimized” when he rightly takes offense at the following paraphrases of quotes we have all had the dubious pleasure of being exposed to in the news of late:
“I don’t like black people. I let it be known…I don’t like dark skin. It shouldn’t be in the world, or in the United States.” (paraphrase of Tim Hardaway)
“I believe that sexual acts between individuals of different races are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts.” (paraphrase of Peter Pace)
“I’m saying, come on, African-Americans—must everybody like you? Can’t it be OK for somebody to hate you? That’s how it is. For every group there is somebody who hates it, and yours is no different.” (paraphrase of Ed Decker)
“I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, Barack Obama, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word….” (paraphrase of Ann Coulter)
So, Ed, “impressed” that I have the “nads” to “criticize minority groups publicly”? “Can’t help but feel a little glee” that I defied the “Political Correctness Police”? Still wanna defend my right to discriminate because “discrimination is a preference”?
What, you think the analogy with race is not the appropriate one? Wait, let me guess: lifestyle choice, right? This was the claim made by the Rev. John Warren, editor of San Diego Voice and Viewpoint, to argue that gay rights are not civil rights, and therefore do not deserve equal protection, to a standing ovation from the assembled crowd at a Martin Luther King Day function last year. OK, let’s say just for the sake of argument that it is a lifestyle choice, even though I don’t believe for one second that that’s true. Well, guess what? So is religion. Last time I checked, you aren’t born with it, but it’s still protected by federal, state and local law. So I invite the reader to substitute preferred epithets for Catholics, Baptists, evangelicals, Mormons, Jews, Muslims, etc. in the above quotes and see how that sounds. Like it?
To run across such idiocy in a left-leaning publication is all the more heartbreaking/disturbing, as it indicates that gays are apparently the only minority group left that it’s still OK to defame, discriminate against, physically abuse, and deny civil rights to. But that’s OK, we’ll all just keep on smilin’ while y’all talk smack about us. Looks like we have ended up the niggers of the 21st century. Thanks for the vote of confidence
Posted by anonymous | March 27, 2007 7:09 PM
Posted on March 27, 2007 19:09
The readers who responded to your "Sordid Tales" Column missed the point. They did the very thing you were talking about. To not allow someone to speak their opinion because they don't agree with it is just wrong. I don't care who you are or what your talking about. We have rights as Americans. We have the right to say stupid things in public. That is one of our rights. People do it all the time. I'm not saying it's good, but they do have the right. Frankly, I'm tired of people over reacting to what other people say in public. Those that responded to your letter had a right to their opinion. They did not have a right to tell you, you were wrong. Isn't that why it's called an opinion?
Linda Bell
La Mesa
Posted by Linda Bell | March 28, 2007 3:37 AM
Posted on March 28, 2007 03:37
Thanks for the words of support Linda. I appreciate it. Especially since your letter was one of only two that supported my column. I agree with most of what you said, except at the end, where you said the letter writers do not have the right to tell me I was wrong. I believe they have that right also.
EJD
Posted by edwin decker | March 28, 2007 3:38 AM
Posted on March 28, 2007 03:38
I recall reading something that someone said that trivialized the situation well. I personally can't find the time to be concerned about something this stupid, but again this was a good point, so i'll share it.
How would Tim Hardaway (everyone else) feel if someone said exactly what he said only replaced "gay" with the "n-bomb"? I'm sure that wouldn't sit so well. Regardless, it would still get over 1.2 million views on Youtube and be favorited at least 10,000 times.
Posted by Comedy Blog | March 31, 2007 11:04 AM
Posted on March 31, 2007 11:04