Several months ago I was invited by the California Center for the Arts, Escondido to perform in what they called a multi-genre performance slam inspired by an art exhibit they were showing in their gallery.

They asked 6 performers of different genres to visit the art gallery (at our leisure) and observe the current showing called Innocence is Questionable by several artists. Each of the performers were supposed to compose a piece based on the art that we observed and then on Sunday, April 20, we would gather at the gallery to perform our pieces before an audience.

There were 6 performers, each from different genres, which were: music, dance, performance art, theater, poetry, and satire – the latter being the genre assigned to me and largely the reason I never thought I had a shot at this thing, because satire, as I understand it, is a combination of humor and critique. It’s a genre I love dearly, but, where everyone else’s performance piece paid homage to the art, I tried to have a little fun at the art’s expense.

Lo and behold, the crowd loved it. They gave me a huge applause and then, with the help of color coded ballots, I was named the winner.

Ted Washington, author, poet, publisher and artist was the M.C. He was also the “performance art” contestant. He did a riotous piece about the folly of plastic shopping bags, spreading hundreds and hundreds of them around the room and then blowing them about to show how they eventually will spread all around the planet, all the time soliloquizing plastic bag facts. We were told he was a very close second.

When my name was called out as the winner, and I walked up to the podium to receive my check, it was just so weird. I never win this kind of shit (artsy-fartsy folk don’t usually like my work). But up there, at the podium, I felt like a princess, like I had just won a pageant…

"…and I’d like to thank my posture coach, and my makeup girls, and God….”

Then they asked me to perform an encore. So I read some stuff from my book, and ended up selling a bunch after the show.

It really was my night. In fact, after the performance, I went down to O’Connell’s to the Candye Kane benefit and wouldn’t you know it, I won a raffle prize there as well! 30 buck gift certificate for the 3^rd Corner restaurant.

I love 3^rd Corner.

And it’s around the block from my house!

Oh magic night, I will remember thee forever!

Ed