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“They defended [Bill Clinton] for his indiscretions in office but want Anthony Weiner run out of town….”
—Michael Medved


BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION, “What Weiner did was worse than what Larry Craig did. So, why shouldn’t he have to resign as well?"
—Commenter on USAtoday.com


There’s a lot of this going around, buy generic IMITREX. A lot of these scandalistas like to compare Congressmember Anthony Weiner’s debacle to other famous political sex scandals, Buy cheap IMITREX no rx, to determine how much he should be despised and what should become of him. Of course, the comparisons are mostly partisan and lack uniformity, online buy IMITREX without a prescription, which is why I have developed the following formula—so that we can objectively discern whose sex scandals are worse than whose and where Weiner ranks among them. IMITREX samples, For the purposes of this formula, each scandal category receives a point value between one and 10. For instance, Standard Adultery—the offense of (yawn) regular old cheating with a consenting adult—is worth one point, BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION. Add five points if the spouse is terminally ill, IMITREX price. Add five Hypocrisy Points for any Bible-humping, Where to buy IMITREX, family-values politicians caught fooling around; add another five Hypocrisy Points if a politically active opponent of gay rights is caught consorting with a member of the same sex. Tack on seven Corruption Points for any laws broken in relation to the affair (not counting the crime of adultery because that’s an idiotic law). Add seven points if it’s one of those creepy, order IMITREX no prescription, non-consensual sexual exposer-type of transgressions (like whipping out your phallus during a private meeting with the president of the local NOW chapter). BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION, Make it 10 if he touches or gropes her private parts, un-consentingly. Order IMITREX from mexican pharmacy, For siring a love child, the points range from one to 10, depending on how the child was treated by the offender, order IMITREX online overnight delivery no prescription.

No points will be added for lying (everyone lies about sex, IMITREX australia, uk, us, usa, so it’s a wash) or if the affair is with a prostitute. Yes, I know, australia, uk, us, usa, prostitution is illegal, Order IMITREX online c.o.d, but let’s be honest: Blowing politicians during lunch breaks so they can stay focused on running the country is why prostitutes were invented.

Now, with that formula in mind, IMITREX from canada, let’s analyze some modern-day political sex scandals:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger: Ten points for being a creepy, non-consensual Genitalia Groper and five points for the love child, BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION. IMITREX maximum dosage, He does not receive the Standard Adultery value because he married a Kennedy-babe and federal law states that if you marry a Kennedy-babe, you must cheat on her. 15 points.

U.S, IMITREX class. Sen. IMITREX long term, Larry Craig: As much as his Family Values and Gay Rights hypocrisies (10 points) turn my stomach, the only law he broke is a dumb one. BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION, I mean, seriously, why can’t you pick up dudes in the bathroom. Add one point for Standard Adultery, IMITREX recreational, but subtract one point for the comic value of his hilarious “wide stance” defense. Discount IMITREX, 10 points.

U.S. Rep. Mark Foley: This is difficult to grade because he didn’t actually fornicate with anyone (that we know of); however, IMITREX results, he was sending sexually explicit messages to several underage male pages (which is illegal, IMITREX natural, earning seven points, plus 10 points for Family Values and Gay Rights hypocrisies). 17 points.

U.S, BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION. Sen, IMITREX schedule. John Edwards: I never realized what a total douche-nozzle John Edwards is: He had Standard Adultery for one point, IMITREX street price, a love child for the full 10 points (Edwards pushed for abortion, then denied paternity), the Cancer Bonus (wife Elizabeth was very sick) and a shit-ton of (alleged) corruption—such as his spending thousands of public dollars on gifts for his lover and funneling more than $900, my IMITREX experience,000 of campaign funds to cover up the affair. IMITREX dangers, 23 points.

House Speaker Newt Gingrich: If Edwards is a douche-nozzle, Gingrich is the dirty, yeasty vagina it goes inside: We have Standard Adultery, IMITREX photos, the Cancer Bonus and a Multiple Sclerosis Bonus (he cheated on two wives—one with cancer, IMITREX blogs, the other M.S.), a Family Values Hypocrisy and an Impeachment Hypocrisy (eight points) because he actively sought to remove President Clinton for doing the same exact bullshit he was doing. 24 points, IMITREX no rx.

BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION, President William J. Clinton: It always bothered me how Clinton’s defenders persistently griped that he was “impeached for a BJ, IMITREX interactions, ” as if that were his worst or only infraction. Clinton’s sex felonies are so many, so egregious, IMITREX steet value, that I don’t have the time or desire to add them up, IMITREX without a prescription, what with the perjuries, the rape accusation, the fact that he used the state police as his personal sex-transit system, where can i find IMITREX online, the persistent trapping of women in his office, Real brand IMITREX online, the groping and the exposing of his tallywhacker like a coked-up monkey in a Vegas cathouse and, of course, how he deployed a team of operatives to viciously attack and destroy his accusers in the press, IMITREX pics. . IMITREX gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, points.

U.S. Rep, BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION. Anthony Weiner: Well, there’s no Family Values Hypocrisy, buying IMITREX online over the counter, no corruption, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, no perjury, no minors, no non-consensual touchies or exposies, buy IMITREX online cod, no love children, IMITREX results, no attempts to destroy the objects of his desire. There isn’t even a Standard Adultery deduction because he never actually had sex with actual women. At best, IMITREX no prescription, he receives a half-point for his virtual affairs. IMITREX use, As for the recently emerged photo of Weiner in women’s clothing, don’t even try it, Malph. BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION, He was 18 years old. It could’ve been a prank. It could’ve been Halloween. Or maybe he just likes wearing women’s clothing—that’s his business. It’s all his business. They should have left him alone to do his job. 1/2 point

Ed Decker
06.22.11


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8 Responses to “BUY IMITREX NO PRESCRIPTION”

  1. Melodious Funk says:

    Yeah, that’s my kind of justice rating! Kind of wish you had tallied up Clinton’s points though. Or at least given him “25+ points”, otherwise it looks a little underdone.

  2. Karyl Miller says:

    Did you give John McCain a pass because he cheated so long ago? Didn’t he cheat with Cindy while still married to his wheelchair-confined (from-a-car-accident) wife? Check the timeline.
    And Edwin, I can’t resist making this point: all the cheaters were men. Therefore, all men are monkeys. You heard it here.

  3. edwin says:

    Nah, just didn’t have the space for McCain. There were a lot of sex scandals that I couldn’t cover, Giuliani, Dukakis, Spitzer, Thomas, Haggard, Packwood, Kennedy, Frank, Hinson, Condit (remember that story?).

    So yeah, there were a lot that I left out but that’s the point of the formula right, so that you can apply it to any scandal not covered in my article.

    Now, about your syllogism – “all the cheaters were men, therefore all men ar monkeys”

    Nice try. But we both know women cheat nearly as much as men – they’re just aren’t that many in high politics so those numbers would naturally be down. But you can bet your monkey-money, Pelosi is getting some on the side.

  4. Karyl Miller says:

    Oh that’s a revelation: so women are unequal to men as to pay, as to work status, as to size BUT WE’RE EQUAL (or “nearly” equal) AS CHEATERS?! Maybe you’ve been reading too many of those sexy letters they publish in Hustler. They’re fiction, you know.

  5. edwin says:

    That’s exactly right. But don’t blame me. I didn’t make it that way, nor do I endeavor to keep it that way. I just call it like I see it. : )

  6. BAJ says:

    Once again, a good one, Ed. :) ) Yep, I agree on that 1/2 point for Weiner. Strange, how everyone treated his tweets as worse than actual contact.

  7. edwin says:

    I think it’s because of the high shock value of the story – you know, that we actually, physically saw a congressman’s bulge in his underwear.

    It’s funny, when he resigned, someone was yelling “pervert” but, honestly, I don’t see what Weiner did as all that perverted. Not compared to some of the fucked up shit that people ACTUALLY do to each other. He’s just horny z’all. Who isn’t?

  8. Those letters in Hustler aren’t real? You’re kidding me right? You’re ruining my favorite source for fantasies :-(

    Oh yeah and Melodious Funk, it’s tough to tally Clinton’s points, he’s like one of those progressive slot machines.

    DP

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