For those who don’t know the back-story, Discount PREDNISONE, in January, Mikey Esparza, the infamous morning cock-jock, PREDNISONE overnight, left Rock 105.3 (KIOX), Buy PREDNISONE online cod, and moved to FM 94/9 (KZBT), where the new Mikey morning show now resides. The Mikey Show is like every other morning monkey-house program, PREDNISONE dose, with one exception: Every Friday, Buy PREDNISONE without a prescription, at the end of his broadcast, Mikey—former purveyor of filth, smut and depravity; former self-proclaimed shit-talking assdouche—tells his audience the story of how Jesus saved his life, where can i buy PREDNISONE online. He calls the segment his “testimony, Purchase PREDNISONE for sale, ” and it is, judging from the shows I’ve heard, the same thing every week: Mikey cues up the melodramatic music bed—a gloomy, PREDNISONE recreational, meandering, After PREDNISONE, reverb-drenched guitar track (think Ry Cooder on morphine)—and, in a soft, contemplative voice, buy generic PREDNISONE, tells the story of his sexual molestation as a child and the vortex of depression, Order PREDNISONE online overnight delivery no prescription, self-loathing and addictions that ravaged him until Christ came along.
“In 2003, I was laying in bed one night, rx free PREDNISONE,” he says. “I knew I was going to die, so I asked Jesus to come into my life.” Apparently, Jesus did just that, because soon after, Mikey’s life began to steadily improve, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. Online buy PREDNISONE without a prescription, At the end of his Friday testimony, Mikey tells people with addiction problems where on his website they can find help, then segues into a song, PREDNISONE street price. It’s usually the same song, PREDNISONE pics, a tune by Third Day called “Tunnel,” about which he implores, “Listen to the lyrics, generic PREDNISONE. I mean, PREDNISONE results, really listen. It’s a song of hope.”
Now, I want you to understand that despite my many sarcastic writings about religion and the religious, about PREDNISONE, I don’t have a problem with Mikey’s radio testimonial—per se. BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, For one thing, I’m usually up all night drinking, drugging and sacrificing small animals, so rising early enough to catch his blubbering is difficult. Where can i find PREDNISONE online, Secondly, and I’ve said this before, I don’t blame believers for spreading The Word as they tend to do, PREDNISONE wiki. Truth is, Purchase PREDNISONE online, if I were to believe in that stuff—if I were to believe that there’s a great ancient king who sits in a throne overlooking a city on the clouds, where the houses are carved from giant strawberries and a chocolate river runs through the village square, and all you have to do to live in this fantastic city is to heed the king, PREDNISONE coupon, but if you don’t heed the king, Cheap PREDNISONE no rx, then you go to this other city, down below, where it rains boiling blood all day and the vapors from a lake of fire melt your eyeballs over and over again, PREDNISONE duration, for eternity—then, Order PREDNISONE online c.o.d, yeah, you bet, every freaking column I were to write till the day I die would be about accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior and how to stay the hell out of Hell, PREDNISONE brand name. So, PREDNISONE interactions, I get why Mikey talks Jesus talk on the air. What I don’t get is why 94/9 allows it. Everybody knows, rock ’n’ roll radio is no place for religious worship, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION.
Hey look, purchase PREDNISONE, 94/9, My PREDNISONE experience, I love you guys, but c’mon. Forget about the contradiction in your scheduling one of those morning hornblower shows after years of snickering at other radio stations for having morning hornblower shows, canada, mexico, india. Forget that your tagline says you’re “about the music, Australia, uk, us, usa, ” even though these morning chatgasms have nothing to do with the music. And forget how you incessantly bragged that you never talked over the songs, even though, buy cheap PREDNISONE no rx, now, Buy PREDNISONE online no prescription, not only are you talking over the music, but you’re talking over the music—with Jesus talk!
Et tu, rock radio station, order PREDNISONE from United States pharmacy. BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, Can't you just leave the Jesus music to the choirboys, church organists, sweater-vested smiley-minstrel folk groups and vocally marginal, Brillo-haired housewives whose families convinced them to record albums of drippy worship songs. Rock ’n’ Roll is Satan’s domain, Buy PREDNISONE from mexico, dammit, and any radio outfit that doesn’t understand that should be stripped of its rock credentials and become a 24-hour Pat Boone-a-palooza station.
So, cheap PREDNISONE no rx, yeah, Buy no prescription PREDNISONE online, it’s 94/9, not Mikey Esparza, who’s to blame for this crime against rhythm and bluesmanity, PREDNISONE pharmacy. That said, PREDNISONE class, Mikey, if you’re reading, I have two pieces of advice, taking PREDNISONE, both involving the music in your testimonial segment:
1. Lose the guitar bed. It’s an obvious manipulation of your listeners’ emotions, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. Earnest testimonials about molestation, addiction and despair don’t need sappy, reverby music backgrounds. Once you rip a listener’s heart out of his or her chest, it doesn’t much matter what you do with it next. After that, it’s all overkill. Just tell your story unaccompanied by musical melodrama and let the words do all the heart-ripping.
BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, 2. If you’re going to play the same song at the end of your testimonials, and you implore the audience to listen to the words, well, then, you had better be certain the words do not suck. They need to be intelligent, unique, creative words and not a repetition of clichés, such as with the lyrics of “Tunnel”:
“There’s a light at the end of this tunnel / Shinin’ bright at the end of this tunnel / For you, for you / So keep holdin’ on…”
That’s your song of hope. Ok, sure, if by "hope" you mean, I hope somebody stabs me in the ears with a pair of scissors. Telling someone to concentrate on the words to Tunnel is like telling the heretic you’re torturing to concentrate on the spikes of the iron maiden you’ve strapped him into. “OK, now, listen carefully to the sound of the blades as they pierce your flesh and organs, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. I want you to listen, I mean really listen, to the sound of your own screams.”
Other than that, Mikey, good job on taking your life back. I would argue that it wasn’t Jesus that saved you, but that’s hardly what matters here. You are alive and thriving and helping people in your sincere, though utterly ridiculous, way. I can respect that.
Originally published in San Diego CityBeat
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