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god radio BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, At the behest of a friend, I logged on to The Mikey Show website to listen to several of his Friday-morning radio testimonials.

For those who don’t know the back-story, Discount PREDNISONE, in January, Mikey Esparza, the infamous morning cock-jock, PREDNISONE overnight, left Rock 105.3 (KIOX), Buy PREDNISONE online cod, and moved to FM 94/9 (KZBT), where the new Mikey morning show now resides. The Mikey Show is like every other morning monkey-house program, PREDNISONE dose, with one exception: Every Friday, Buy PREDNISONE without a prescription, at the end of his broadcast, Mikey—former purveyor of filth, smut and depravity; former self-proclaimed shit-talking assdouche—tells his audience the story of how Jesus saved his life, where can i buy PREDNISONE online. He calls the segment his “testimony, Purchase PREDNISONE for sale, ” and it is, judging from the shows I’ve heard, the same thing every week: Mikey cues up the melodramatic music bed—a gloomy, PREDNISONE recreational, meandering, After PREDNISONE, reverb-drenched guitar track (think Ry Cooder on morphine)—and, in a soft, contemplative voice, buy generic PREDNISONE, tells the story of his sexual molestation as a child and the vortex of depression, Order PREDNISONE online overnight delivery no prescription, self-loathing and addictions that ravaged him until Christ came along.

“In 2003, I was laying in bed one night, rx free PREDNISONE,” he says. “I knew I was going to die, so I asked Jesus to come into my life.” Apparently, Jesus did just that, because soon after, Mikey’s life began to steadily improve, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. Online buy PREDNISONE without a prescription, At the end of his Friday testimony, Mikey tells people with addiction problems where on his website they can find help, then segues into a song, PREDNISONE street price. It’s usually the same song, PREDNISONE pics, a tune by Third Day called “Tunnel,” about which he implores, “Listen to the lyrics, generic PREDNISONE. I mean, PREDNISONE results, really listen. It’s a song of hope.”

Now, I want you to understand that despite my many sarcastic writings about religion and the religious, about PREDNISONE, I don’t have a problem with Mikey’s radio testimonial—per se. BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, For one thing, I’m usually up all night drinking, drugging and sacrificing small animals, so rising early enough to catch his blubbering is difficult. Where can i find PREDNISONE online, Secondly, and I’ve said this before, I don’t blame believers for spreading The Word as they tend to do, PREDNISONE wiki. Truth is, Purchase PREDNISONE online, if I were to believe in that stuff—if I were to believe that there’s a great ancient king who sits in a throne overlooking a city on the clouds, where the houses are carved from giant strawberries and a chocolate river runs through the village square, and all you have to do to live in this fantastic city is to heed the king, PREDNISONE coupon, but if you don’t heed the king, Cheap PREDNISONE no rx, then you go to this other city, down below, where it rains boiling blood all day and the vapors from a lake of fire melt your eyeballs over and over again, PREDNISONE duration, for eternity—then, Order PREDNISONE online c.o.d, yeah, you bet, every freaking column I were to write till the day I die would be about accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior and how to stay the hell out of Hell, PREDNISONE brand name. So, PREDNISONE interactions, I get why Mikey talks Jesus talk on the air. What I don’t get is why 94/9 allows it. Everybody knows, rock ’n’ roll radio is no place for religious worship, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION.

Hey look, purchase PREDNISONE, 94/9, My PREDNISONE experience, I love you guys, but c’mon. Forget about the contradiction in your scheduling one of those morning hornblower shows after years of snickering at other radio stations for having morning hornblower shows, canada, mexico, india. Forget that your tagline says you’re “about the music, Australia, uk, us, usa, ” even though these morning chatgasms have nothing to do with the music. And forget how you incessantly bragged that you never talked over the songs, even though, buy cheap PREDNISONE no rx, now, Buy PREDNISONE online no prescription, not only are you talking over the music, but you’re talking over the music—with Jesus talk!

Et tu, rock radio station, order PREDNISONE from United States pharmacy. BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, Can't you just leave the Jesus music to the choirboys, church organists, sweater-vested smiley-minstrel  folk groups and vocally marginal, Brillo-haired housewives whose families convinced them to record albums of drippy worship songs. Rock ’n’ Roll is Satan’s domain, Buy PREDNISONE from mexico, dammit, and any radio outfit that doesn’t understand that should be stripped of its rock credentials and become a 24-hour Pat Boone-a-palooza station.

So, cheap PREDNISONE no rx, yeah, Buy no prescription PREDNISONE online, it’s 94/9, not Mikey Esparza, who’s to blame for this crime against rhythm and bluesmanity, PREDNISONE pharmacy. That said, PREDNISONE class, Mikey, if you’re reading, I have two pieces of advice, taking PREDNISONE, both involving the music in your testimonial segment:

1. Lose the guitar bed. It’s an obvious manipulation of your listeners’ emotions, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. Earnest testimonials about molestation, addiction and despair don’t need sappy, reverby music backgrounds. Once you rip a listener’s heart out of his or her chest, it doesn’t much matter what you do with it next. After that, it’s all overkill. Just tell your story unaccompanied by musical melodrama and let the words do all the heart-ripping.

BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION, 2. If you’re going to play the same song at the end of your testimonials, and you implore the audience to listen to the words, well, then, you had better be certain the words do not suck. They need to be intelligent, unique, creative words and not a repetition of clichés, such as with the lyrics of “Tunnel”:

There’s a light at the end of this tunnel / Shinin’ bright at the end of this tunnel / For you, for you / So keep holdin’ on…”

That’s your song of hope. Ok, sure, if by "hope" you mean, I hope somebody stabs me in the ears with a pair of scissors. Telling someone to concentrate on the words to Tunnel is like telling the heretic you’re torturing to concentrate on the spikes of the iron maiden you’ve strapped him into. “OK, now, listen carefully to the sound of the blades as they pierce your flesh and organs, BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION. I want you to listen, I mean really listen, to the sound of your own screams.”

Other than that, Mikey, good job on taking your life back. I would argue that it wasn’t Jesus that saved you, but that’s hardly what matters here. You are alive and thriving and helping people in your sincere, though utterly ridiculous, way. I can respect that.

Originally published in San Diego CityBeat

EJD
03.03.10.

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17 Responses to “BUY PREDNISONE NO PRESCRIPTION”

  1. colleen says:

    Ed… I shall pray for your soul my dear man!

  2. Ed…..I applaud your soul, your wit, your writing! Awesome!

  3. ED, I can’t wait to share tales with you over a pint of boiling blood while Satan rapes us with our own members for eternity. Heaven sounds boring and I’m sure Hendrix is in Hell. Radio sucks, everyone knows, nothing good is free. Fun costs at least five dollars.

  4. Jennifer Slaughter says:

    “great ancient king who sits in a throne overlooking a city on the clouds, where the houses are carved from giant strawberries and a chocolate river runs through the village square”…such an awesome visual!

  5. Scott - Pittsburgh, PA says:

    Pat Boone-a-palooza conjures horrifying images in my mind’s eye. Excellent “Tales” Ed. Pumpernickel and all.

  6. David Willardson says:

    Hell yea! Keep the holy rolling away from the rock and rolling! Never the twain shall meet! And what the he’ll happened to 94/9 when I left SD they were the station, now a morning show? And a bible thumping segment? May lucifer have mercy on thier souls!

  7. Alex Marcondy says:

    Once again you have chosen to offend rather than enlighten. Were you abused by the nuns in Catholic school or something, because you really seem to be holding on to a lot of hate there, Ed

  8. myrna says:

    Decker, one day you will understand what it means to have Jesus in your life. And you will look back at this article and hang your head and shame. Might as well start now.

  9. J Allison says:

    Can’t stop laughing…. I’ll get back with you on this.

  10. Matthew says:

    Damnit! I hate it when Jesus suborns rock & roll a.k.a. the devil’s playground. That’s evil with a capital E.

  11. John says:

    Thank you for coming to the rescue of those of us with enough brain power left to be offended by the absurd crap that he preaches.

    Let’s all pray that one day,Mikey gets his nose out of the Bible and his head out of his ass and stops pushing this bullshit on those of us who have retained our sanity.

  12. HellaJoe says:

    Hey, at least it’s not a Scientology testimonial. That would be too much to bear.

  13. Dble T says:

    Ed, as Stacy Taylor said in recent email…”So far, the only one to re-surface is the un-listenable crypto-fascist Mike Esparza of the “Mikey Show” who, on his website, lists ” Collecting Bibles”, and “the New Testament”, along with “Cars!” among his hobbies.” Nuff said there for me to ever tune in to 94/9. The fact that our 1/2 of our country seems to be wanting to go back to the Dark Ages where everyone who doesn’t agree with them is put up on a rack and tortured scares the hell out of me. So I agree somewhat with you with the exception of it’s okay to lob “testiments” on a rock and roll show everyday. Leave that crap to the stations that carry Pat Boone and his ilk.

  14. Jennifer Schumaker says:

    The best thing to do when assualted by the righteousness of zealots is to ignore them, as long as they are not actually kicking the hell out of someone. We all know that religion is dying in America and many parts of the world, so I believe that the worst of the white knuckled bible-clutching is what’s called an “extinction burst.” Religion is no longer acknowledged, so it’s gonna get noisy while it accepts this. It’s just like when someone knocks gently at a door previously opened immediately and it stays shut: they knock harder, then harder. Then they pound, maybe scream, pound some more and give up.

    I suggest that Mikey’s bizarre insinuation of the I-got-saved sermon into the rock-n-roll world (which is what’s really sacred here) is just one such example of an extinction burst. But it is much more unpalatable because it feels all backward! Usually the noisy outburst comes from the party who will soon cease their annoying behaviors and move on, and the peace and quiet of the sacred space is restored. In this case, it is, creepily, the reverse! Saccharine sweetie-ness is dripping (to sappy guitar accompaniment) into the holy rolling rock world. Not cool. So I am glad that you didn’t ignore 94.9′s transgression. Blasting the hell out of it was the only way to get some balance!

  15. Jennifer Schumaker says:

    Sh!t! I was so busy making my freaakin’ point I forgot to mention it was a hoot to read! Great flow and language (love “rhythm and bluesmanity”) and a providing a jolt worthy of the lightning bolt that’s surely aiming your way!

  16. rick o says:

    Ed,
    Jesus loves you and so do I. I’m saving a cushy spot on my puffy cloud for you, my man!

  17. Edgar says:

    I think the move to hire Mikey on Lincoln Financial’s part is more of a reflection on San Diego’s radio listenership.

    FM 94/9′s pre-Mikey Show listeners are pretty tech-savvy…they’re wise to Hype Machine, Pitchfork and the like. So, 94/9 was their default radio station WHEN their iPods lost their battery charge, or they didn’t have any burned CDs in their cars. In short, they were loyal to 94/9 but not to radio as a format so they’re not going to help bring the ratings.

    At the end of the day, FM 94/9 is a business and needs to keep the lights on. They needed dedicated listeners to help pull them out of their ratings freefall…and Mikey was the answer. They HAD to have known that there would be some fallout from bringing his God-loving/fearing, all talk-no music ways to 94.9. They also knew that the new listenership A) would likely outnumber any lost listeners, and B) are obviously ok with Esparza’s format. I hate to say it, but those people aren’t listening from LA or out of state…those folks are right here in San Diego.

    Yes, “it’s about the money”, but it’s always been that way. Radio is a business, not a community.

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