(To be spoken/read in the style of the Gregorian Chant)

Then Jesus did pass the Tupperware to his disciples, and say,

“This . . . is my product line. It will keep the blood of the everlasting covenant fresh for we–eeks”

Jesus then showed them the deluxe set.

He opened his arms wide, and said, “Perhaps I can interest you in the hamburger press and freezer set? The Hamburger Press and Freezer Set makes a great Christmas gi–ift”

And the disciples passed it around.

And paul said, “Write me down for a set, Je–sus

And john said, “Me too–oo,”

And peter said, “I’ll take two, one for my sister and one for my bruh–ther.

And Judas testified, “But, Jesus, doth not Ziploc bags serve the same function as Tupperware and yet is much chea–per?

And Jesus said, “Yo Judas, why you always trying to fuck up my shi–it?”

Here is a live reading of The Last Tupperware Party

Thanks to Alicia Champion of Durga Sound for the audio

So dark, so dark
here in the black hole of my blackout

It’s my own personal hell:
Where the bouncers are demons
under neon bonfires

Where the bartenders are zombies
with infections in their eyes

Where the pretty girls have razors for tongues
They kiss the boys and slice off their faces
then leave them bloody and twitching in a pile by the pool table
while oblivious demi-Gods finger each other in bathroom stalls

And the cave-beast is awake

I can hear him pacing
crunching on the bones of those who have blacked out here before.

It’s sure is scary inside my blackout

Another shot bartender please?

Uh – oh,
I think I’m falling off my stool again

Down, down, down
I am on the floor now

How did I get on the floor?

Is this my puddle of vomit I’m lying in?

And the rum-spiders swarm

They drink my puke and eat my eyeballs
And the beezle-bouncers lift me off the floor

They toss me to the cave beast
who rapes me with the femur of Charles Bukowski
and whispers ax-murder lullabies into my ear.

THE END

Here is a live reading on the radio of this poem.
(Drunk Thoughts (LIVE and SLOPPY)– June 1, 2007:

My Blackout

Thanks to Alicia Champion of Durga Sound for engineering the audio