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This “No mosque at ground zero” backlash has spiraled out of control. Not until all the erroneous, exaggerated and / or hypocritical hype swirling around the issue ceases will anyone be able to have a reasonable debate about the issue. For instance: (more…)
I’m having an afternoon meal with a small group of female friends, enjoying a lighthearted conversation about such lunch-appropriate topics as celebrity marriages, gardening tips and organic pet food, when the discussion takes a perilous turn toward a lunch-inappropriate topic: abortion.
At first, things are going smoothly, and it actually seems as though we’re going to discuss it without ruining any friendships or appetites—until, I make the mistake of revealing my position on the issue. (more…)
First, let’s get the disclaimer out of the way. Fred Phelps is, in fact, a toadfucker. Ditto his family, his friends and all the assphibian followers of his Westboro Baptist Church, who deserve to be repeatedly dunked in the deepest, scaldingest lava pit in Hell if Hell actually existed.
You’ve heard of Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), right? This is the organization that despises homosexuality so much that the URL to its website is GodHatesFags.com. They believe The Lord is punishing America because we “enable” homosexual behavior. They’ve made a name for themselves picketing the funerals of people like Coretta Scott King (a revolting effort), Mathew Shepard (sickening), the victims of the Sago mine disaster (sickening and silly), Mr. Rogers (WTF?!), Ronnie James Dio (well, that makes sense) and Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder—not because he was gay (he wasn’t), but because the WBC believes soldiers, by virtue of their enlistment, further enable America’s enabling of homosexuality, so God smite him.
With picket signs like “U.S. Fag Army” and “Thank God for Dead Soldiers,” WBC has really proven itself to be out of its mother-lovin’ skull! But get this: As gnat-shit crazy as Westboro Baptist Church is, it isn’t one iota more deranged than any other church—certainly not more so than the Roman Catholic Church, nor the United Methodists, the Evangelical Lutherans, the Mormons, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and the rest. (more…)
Mr. and Mrs. Styles
Read all about the evening at the ever exciting, ever controversial judge’s blog (that’s me).
I took my nephew Noah, and honorary nephew Kelton, to the Comic-Con today. What a blast! I know I wouldn’t have had nearly as good of a time if it were not having two youngsters with me just freaking out as we turned every corner.
engage!
It started off with a bang. The minute we walked in we saw the Star Trek Captain’s chair and a group of Halo fighters walking around. Then some little girl walked by with a light saber and it was all over. Noah and Kelton went nuts.
Must.
Have.
Light.
Saber.
I saw this image on Fox News tonight of a couple of Arabs burning the U.S. flag while holding it upside down. Of course, the talking heads were getting all freaked out about such an image, but the first thing I thought was, Hmm. Doesn’t that cancel itself out?
Sure, when Americans fly the flag upside-down it’s supposed to be a distress call, but when protesters fly it upside-down they are saying, “Down with America!” Same goes for burning the flag, which means you hate what that flag currently stands for.
But what does it mean when you burn a flag that is upside down. Seems to me you are saying, “I hate what the upside down flag stands for.” And since the upside down flag stands for “Down with America,” when you are burning it, aren’t you really saying, “Up with America!”?
I’m just saying.
Since I’m the only non-right wing conservative republican I know who actually watches Fox News channel, I figured I’d be your eyes and ears for the stupid shit they say there. I actually watch Fox for most of the day, and much of the night so the amount of stupid shit I am exposed to really is amazing. So much so that I figured I’d only chime in when the shit they say is REALLY stupid, as with the stupid shit I heard yesterday, not surprisingly, from the mouth of Bill “Oaf” Reilly.
Oaf Reilly was talking about President Bush’s Farewell Address and gushing over how great it was, and how Bush had the country’s best interest in mind, and how he kept us safe etc.
“It’ll be interesting to see,” he opined, “how the Left wing loony Bush haters will spin this tomorrow because decent people – and all the polls show this – like President Bush.”
Let’s look at that sentence again and marvel at it’s utter stupidity and gall. (I have rearranged the quote for clarity).
All the polls show that decent people like President Bush.
Wow! All the polls? Really? So, since Prez Bush’s approval rating is at 27 percent, is “Oaf” Reilly saying that only 27 percent of the country is decent?
Furthermore, who are these poll takers that are deciding who are the “decent” poll responders, and which are the, um, indecent ones?
Perhaps these polls to which he is referring have a question on the bottom that says, “Are you a decent person? Please check yes or no.”
And who are these people that check “no”?
To me, this quote goes to the very heart of what’s wrong with Bill “Oaf” Reilly, what’s wrong with Fox News as an institution, and what was wrong with this administration – a complete disregard for facts, common sense and a view of the world through the thickest of ideological lenses.
Sarah Palin gave a speech today urging the federal government to fully fund the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). In the speech, Palin cited the need to do more for children with disabilities such as autism.
But where will the money come from? Well from reducing frivolous spending says the lady in red:
“You’ve heard about some of these pet projects they really don’t make a whole lot of sense and sometimes these dollars go to projects that have little or nothing to do with the public good. Things like fruit fly research in Paris, France. I kid you not.”
You tell ‘em Sarah. Fruit flies are ugly, and stupid, and they eat our fruit. What’s worse, they’re sexually dimorphic. Do we really need to be sending that message to the larvae? That it’s ok to be sexually dimorphic? What about the larvae?!
Besides, why do fruit flies need 200 thousand dollars? Can’t they go on with all their fruit-eating for free? Stupid fruit flies! Researching them never did nobody no good. Except, oh yeah, autism sufferers, and just about every biological and genetic researcher — to whom the fruit fly has been invaluable.
What a moroni!
Here is the atrocious political comment du jour by a presidential candidate. It’s from Senator McCain about Senator Clinton’s war plan she laid out at the last debate:
“…The statements made by Senator Clinton,” said McCain, “about setting a specific date for [withdrawing troops from Iraq] is the first time, I think, in American political history, that a candidate of a major political party has advocated surrender.”
He’s been throwing around this, “Democrats want to surrender” crap since the start of the surge.
Apparently John McCain doesn’t know what the word surrender means. Because Senator Clinton is not suggesting the troops lay down their weapons, throw up their hands and deliver themselves to the mercy of the enemy. Nor does she propose that we abandon our overall war against extreme Islamic terrorists.
We’ve been told over and over that the war on terror has many fronts and that Iraq is just one of them. If that’s true then getting out of Iraq isn’t surrender. It’s a strategic retreat. Because if things on a particular front are hopeless, or, if that particular front is worthless in terms of military or strategic value, or, both — as is the case with Iraq — then the smart thing to do is retreat from that front and put your resources where they can be more effective.
You think a war hero would know the difference between retreat and surrender. Actually, he probably does know the difference. I’m quite certain McCain knows “surrender” is not what Clinton is advocating. But it doesn’t matter to him because it serves his agenda to portray Hillary as weak, timid, and afraid.
I don’t care much for Hillary Clinton, but she’s far from weak, timid or afraid.
Did you catch the Sean Hannity interview with Fred Thompson on Hannity and Colmes yesterday? The man is utterly uninteresting, poorly-spoken, and actually a little nervous in the spotlight (not that I was voting for him anyway).
I’ll tell you what I found to be the most annoying aspect of the thing. It was how they billed the interview as “Exclusive First Interview with Fred and Jeri Thompson.” Indeed that’s what they had at the bottom of the screen, in all caps, for nearly the whole interview, for all of us to look at with pride and amazement of Fox’s exclusivity arrangement.
OK, for starters, I have always hated how the news media touts various interviews as being “exclusive.” They say it as though it’s some sort of benefit to us, the audience. But what exclusive really means is, “We did whatever we had to make sure that nobody else gets this interview,” which really — since they have denied anyone else from interviewing the subject — only reduces the information we may consume about him or it.
I’m not saying they shouldn’t try to get exclusives, sure, that makes good sense, but to brag it as this great favor to us that we should celebrate is bullshit since exclusivity only serves the media outlet in question and, in effect, screws us.
Still, it’s the industry norm so, whatever.
But this Fox tag line really bugs. “Exclusive first interview,” is dishonestly redundant. What does it even mean? That he’s not doing any other “first” interviews with anyone else? Of course not, duh! You can only do one first interview. And Thompson’s first interview happened to be with Fox, which should have been billed simply as a, “First interview.”
It’s a total manipulation of language. Because Fox News knew they weren’t going to keep Thompson from doing interviews with other media outlets. He’s a goddamn presidential candidate for crying out loud! Exclusives are usually reserved for one-timers in the news world. You know, a person who survived a plane crash perhaps, or a witness in a high-profile murder case. You can’t do an exclusive on Presidential candidates because they’re jumping at the bit for coverage. They would never agree to it. So Fox called it an “Exclusive first Interview” to make it seem as though they have more juice than they actually do because Fox News is more about licking it’s own balls than legitimately covering the news.
Cyanide Pill
(Rob Garbowski’s company, he designed this website)
Sweettooth
(Rob’s rock band)
Puna Press
(My publisher)
San Diego CityBeat Magazine
(My flagship paper)
CityBeat Blog
(Where we the writers of CityBeat all go to shoot the shit)
Below are 7 different festivals and/or events which I produce, organize or am in other ways involved:
1. Southern California Writer’s Conference
(I started working for them recently. Will probably start doing workshops soon. Stay tuned)
2. San Diego Indie Music Festival
(To hell with corporate. This is independant music. Independant!
6. Ultimate Music Challenge (a music competition in Viejas that I judge)
7. Ultimate Music Challenge Judges Blog
Tyler Jordan
(Tyler did a crapload of art for Barzilla and Other Psalms)
The Binge
(The only radio show that condones drinking, with your hosts Andy and Max)
Michael Steven Gregory
(Author, Independent film maker, executive director of the Southern California Writer’s Conference and bad-ass disc golfer to boot)
Winston’s Beach Club
710 Beach Club
(Two nightclubs where I bartend)
Mike Sager
(A fellow San Diego resident and friend to CityBeat, Sager is currently a reporter for Esquire . His former gigs include, staff writer for Washington Post, contributing editor for Rolling Stone, and writer-at-large for GQ)
Modern Drunkard Magazine
(A pulp tome of boozing and debauchery – featuring Sordid Tales)
Out of the Gutter Magazine
(A modern journal of pulp and degenerate fiction — featuring Sordid Tales)
Stairs to Nowhere (Tijuana Tales)
(A superb blog by my friend and colleague at CityBeat, Kinsee Morlan)
My Week in Music
(Scott Zensen, online San Diego music reporter: RIP 2008)
Note: If you don’t see your question asked and answered here, post yours in the comments field at the bottom and it will be answered shortly.
Q: Who built your website?
A: My graphic designer friend Rob Garbowski configured the template. He also created the banner on the main page. His band Sweettooth, by the way, rocks quite well.
Cyanide Pill
Sweettooth
Q: What is the “Archived Site” mentioned on the navigation bar?
A: That’s my old website. There is a lot of material over there (including some travel journals, a score of interviews, and all my old Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat columns) that was just going to take way too much time to repost, one article at a time, over here. Too much work, not enough time in the day. You can still visit the old site, but it’s more like a ghost town over there, which is fine. Ghost towns can be fun too. But it’s here where the action is.
Q: Do you have Instant Messaging?
A: Yes, I’m on AOL (AIM) , screen name: edecker62. Feel free to drop my line.
Q: Are you on any social networking sites?
A: Yes:
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
BlipFM (online DJ site – awesome!)
Q: I hear you play chess. How can I challenge you?
A: I play on a free chess site. Just go to www.chesscolony.com and register for free. Then look me up and challenge me to a game. My user name is rooksmasher. Shoot me an email when you’re ready to challenge so I know to accept.
Q: Can you write articles on spec for my newspaper or magazine?
A: Absolutely. I am a freelancer and am able and open to picking up new writing assignments.
Q: Are you available for readings and speaking engagements?
A: Yes. I routinely schedule readings and other spoken word performances in California. I also occasionally visit classrooms of all grades to talk about writing and journalism. Just email me for more info.
Q: How do I find out about upcoming readings and other events?
A: Sign up for the mailing list
Q: When can I catch you on the radio?
A: As of now, The Binge on 103.7 Free FM (in San Diego) is on hiatus. The Binge, hosted by Andy and Max, is the only show on radio that condones drinking. Or, as the hosts put it, The Binge is about the 4 food groups: Drinking, Sports, Music and Women. The show airs every Friday at 10pm and I am a recurring guest the first Friday of every month when I sit in the studio and shoot the shit with Max and Andy about bartending and boozing. I also do a recurring bit called Drunk Thoughts. Tune in and/or call the studio. (619) 570-1037. We’d love to talk to you.
Q: Is Drunk Thoughts a ripoff of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey?
A: Yes, most definitely.
Q: Why is it that I sometimes don’t see your Sordid Tales column in CityBeat. Isn’t it a weekly column?
A: Sordid Tales is now a biweekly column. It used to be in the paper every week, but I found that being on the weekly column grind kept me from getting things done, such as revamping my website, or publishing books. From now on Sordid Tales can be found in CityBeat Magazine every other week, usually around page 7 or so.
Q: How do I get the current Sordid Tales online?
A: You can get it right here, the same day it hits the stands, every other Wednesday. Just click on CURRENT COLUMN in the Category menu on the right side of the page.
Q: Why does Sordid Tales have two names?
A: When Sordid Tales first began in 1997, it was called Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat. It ran in a now defunct music and culture magazine called SLAMM. Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was about the comedy and the tragedy of the nightclub business as told by a veteran mixologist.
For about 6 years, that was the title, until SLAMM sold its interest to Southland Publishing and became San Diego CityBeat. The people at Southwest decided they wanted to keep my column in the mix but asked if I wouldn’t mind broadening the theme a tad since CityBeat would be distributed to a much larger, more diverse audience.
It was good timing because after 6 or so years I had become bored with the industry-only topics to which Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was limited. So, with the blessing of my new editor, Dave Rolland, I shortened the title and widened the scope: Where Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was about the tragedy and the comedy of the bar scene as told by a veteran bartender, Sordid Tales was about the tragedy and comedy of the universe as seen through a bartender’s eyes. This allowed me to write about anything I wanted while still keeping the bartender tone: current events, politics, religion, romance, sports, cinema, science, pop culture, and of course sex and drugs and rock and roll now all easily fall under the umbrella of Sordid Tales coverage.
Q: How can I order Barzilla online?
A: Try Puna Press
Q: Which bookstores carry Barzilla?
A: If you live in San Diego, there are several bookstores you can get it from:
Blue Stocking Books (3817 Fifth Avenue: Hillcrest)
Borders (1072 Camino Del Rio N.: Mission Valley
The Black (5017 Newport Ave: Ocean Beach)
M-Theory Records (915 Washington Street: San Diego)
The Grove (3010 Juniper Street: South Park)
Warwicks (7812 Girard Avenue: La Jolla)
Ducky Waddles (414 North Coast HWY 101: Encinitas)
Q: Will there ever be a compilation of your Sordid Tales columns?
A: Yes. Stay tuned here.
Q: What is Modern Drunkard Magazine?
A: Only one of the funniest drinking periodicals ever. It’s all about booze culture. They reprint my Bartender columns but that’s not why I think it’s so great. It’s just good, funny shit. The art is pulp-noir, the writing style is unapologetic hooch humor.
Modern Drunkard Magazine is based in Denver but distributed nationally. The best part about it is, every year they have a convention. It’s usually in Las Vegas, which is the perfect place for a convention of drunkards. It’s always a blast. The Modern Drunkard Magazine convention is basically a 3-day drunkfest, with awesome live bands and performance artists, burlesque shows, contests, speakers, mixers, after hours parties and of course booze booze booze everywhere you turn.
Q: How can I get the print version of Modern Drunkard?
A: From their website.
Q: Why is it, in your writings, you always say, “second best,” such as, “Annie Hall was Woody Allen’s second best movie,” or “Stephen Hawking is the second smartest scientist”? How come you never say something is the best or the biggest or the smartest?
A: Because superlatives make me uncomfortable. I don’t think anyone can really say what is the best movie is, or who is the smartest scientist. Especially, when somebody else is saying it for you. For instance, I may think Broadway Danny Rose is Woody Allen’s best movie, but you may not, so, I say it’s the second best and let the reader decide for themselves which they think is best.
To join the mailing list
Just send an email and write “add me” in the subject line.
Also, if you would like to post a question to be answered in my bartender advice column, or suggest a bartender to feature (both of which are for Pacific San Diego Magazine) this would be the place to do it.
Edwin Decker is a freelance writer and performance artist residing in San Diego. He regularly publishes articles in various newspapers and magazines in San Diego and around the country.
His work has appeared in, to name a few, The San Diego Union Tribune, San Diego Reader, Modern Drunkard Magazine, Seattle Stranger, Tucson Weekly, Creative Loafing (in Atlanta), Cleveland Scene and his mothership magazine San Diego CityBeat.
Though a freelancer, it is in CityBeat where his column Sordid Tales runs biweekly. Sordid Tales is a satiric look at the world from the perspective of a veteran bartender. It is often irreverent, seedy, controversial and, of course, sordid.
He has performed spoken word in venues around the country and extensively in San Diego county including the California Center for the Arts in Escondido and the Museum of the Living Artist in Balboa Park.
His book Barzilla and Other Psalms was nominated for a 2007 San Diego Book Award and his performance piece, “Questioning Innocence is Questionable,” won the San Diego Visual Arts Network multi-genre Performance Slam grand prize.
Aside from writing, he is also an event planner and produces and/or operates several major, southern California productions including the Southern California Writer’s Conference, San Diego Music Awards, San Diego IndieFest, The North by North Park Music Conference and the Ultimate Music Challenge.
Last but not least, Decker is bartender, having slung drinks in several San Diego’s premier live music clubs including the now defunct Bacchanal, 4th and B, Buffalo Joe’s, Club 710 (formerly Blind Melon’s) and Winston’s Beach club where he served as General Manager before being abruptly fired by an alcoholic, semi-insane, though lovable boss.
Decker grew up in Monroe, New York, a small suburbia about 50 miles northeast of Manhattan. His father (retired) was a grounds-keeper for the New York School for the Deaf. His mother (also retired) was an elementary school teacher and union President for the Cornwall school system in upstate New York. Decker is married with no children thanks to the wonders of birth control and a like-minded wife who would rather have her eyeballs sandblasted than get pregnant.
