The Homosexual Agenda
(Exclusive! Ulterior motives
of the homosexual community uncovered!)
What is this mysterious
homosexual agenda we all keep hearing about? What is this notion
that the ongoing crusade for gay rights is really just a front
for some ulterior political agenda? Is it a formal decree? Or
just some unconscious shared ambition? Of course, no one could
actually define the agenda - except to say that it is wicked and
foul and smells like ass.
These are the questions we here at the investigative branch of
Edwindecker.com have been asking ourselves. So, last month we
placed an undercover agent inside the offices of GLAAD (Gay and
Lesbian Alliance against Defamation). It was inside GLAAD where
our operative uncovered a classified, departmental memo and --
at great peril to his life - copied and brought it to our offices.
That memo, composed and delivered some 17 years ago, is a complete
outlay of the true intentions of the homosexual community and
proof of the existence of a Homosexual Agenda. Here now, published
for the first time, is that very memo. . .
The Homosexual Agenda
Memo From Dan Silverman - GLAAD co-Chairperson
November 8, 1986
Mission Statement: America
today. Tomorrow -- the world.
Preamble: All U.S. homo personnel are hereby directed to create
fear, confusion, and chaos -- thus creating a favorable climate
for nationwide domination. This can be done in many ways:
Provisions and Recommendations:
1) Infiltrate Educational/Recreational System: All homo
personnel should take positions as teachers, principals, coaches,
Boy Scout/Girl Scout Leaders etc. Personnel should use the educational
system to teach boys how to prance about like a princess and girls
how to shoot nine-ball.
2) Infiltrate Pop Music: Masculine agents are hereby directed
to form bad-ass hard rock bands with bad-ass macho band names
like Judas Christ, and wear leather and studs, and be all hard
rock and shit, and get millions of adolescent, sexually-malleable,
boys to worship you for your ability to rock all hard and shit,
and then . . . drop the Gay-bomb on them by abruptly publicizing
the fact that you are a raging hose-smoker.
3) Infiltrate Art: Create paintings and statues of strikingly
beautiful Greek and Roman men standing contraposto, all naked
and queer-baity, with smooth, hairless, asscheeks, and sexually-charged
Greco-Roman names like, "Felatus the Turgid!"
4) Infiltrate Marriage: Gay and lesbian agents should take
the vows of matrimony whenever possible -- thus contaminating
the divine purity of the institution of marriage with our disgusting,
filthy, immoral selves.
5) Adopt: Married and/or unmarried gay couples should adopt
as many children as possible. Place them on a diet of Queer's
milk and strained fagberries. Also, throw drug-infested, ritualistic,
Tupperware orgies in their presence.
6) Infiltrate the Military: Contaminate barracks' water
supply with massive doses of gay-powder and "accidentally"
bump penises in the shower - instantly changing straight soldiers
into Grand Exalted Warriors for the Army of Gay.
7) Analingus - The Musical.
8) Infiltrate the White House: Become President of the United
States. Replace current military motto of, "Don't ask
to tell," with new, improved motto -- "Go gay
now, ask me how." Also, travel the world to promote the
American gay agenda, ending the tour in Berlin; where, like Kennedy
before you, you will shout from the podium, "Ich bein ein
arschficker*" (I am cream puff), for all the world to hear.
Conclusion: If we act with fervor and diligence, we should gain
control of the world by 2006. Then we can start building bathhouses
on the moon. Please shred this document immediately after reading.
Thank you. "Heil Halford!"
Dan Silverman,
GLAAD, co-Chairperson.
Final Thoughts from the Columnist: Do you see what can happen when homosexuality goes unchecked? And to think, all along, we thought they were only seeking the right to live without being ridiculed, tortured and/or alienated. Turns out there is an ulterior homosexual agenda - and, like a drippy tube of anal lube, the gay evil oozes over our culture. Oh-Boy! Better order more pink armbands; better knock down some doors and drag out some pansies; better act now -- before it's too late.
Next week: "Kill Whitey and Fuck Their Bitches" -- The Negro Memo
EJD
12/2002
*"Ich bein ein Arschficker":
(German for "I am
Assfucker").
True Story: The Nazi's made gay prisoners wear armbands marked
with the letter "A" for arschficker.