This is a little bit that Troy Johnson and I unveiled for our radio show That Ain't Right on 103.7 Free Fm. They're basically movie reviews in Haiku form. It was Troy's idea.

While there are several types of haiku, I've chosen to go with the English version of Japanese haiku. Here's a little haiku brush-up:

1. Haiku is usually three lines of poetry. The first being 5 syllables long, then 7, then 5 again.

2. No rhyming.

3. There must be a "season" type word in the poem. Avoid using the season itself, rather, a word that is associated with it such as how icicles or toboggans are associated with winter. Nature words are also acceptable.

4. Avoid metaphors. Only the best of the best haiku poets know how to subtly use a metaphor in haiku. For the mediocre Haikuist, best to avoid them altogether.

5. The poems must be in the present tense since they are intended, primarily, to make us live in the now -- a dying art to be certain.

6. It is permissable on occasion to use more or less than 3 lines and different syllable counts than 5-7-5 but there must always be less than 17 syllables in all.

These posts ascend by date, so the most recent reviews will be at the bottom.

Movie: Premonition

Starring: Sandra Bullock

Plot: Depressed housewife learns her husband was killed in a car accident the day previously, awakens the next morning to find him alive and well at home, and then awakens the next day after to a world in which he is still dead.

Haiku Review

Just when you think, "Oh
It can not get any worse,"
In walks Ms. Bullock.

[Author's note: it was pointed out to me that the above haiku movie review
did not have a season-type word. Below is the rewrite].

Haiku Review

Days of blossom, few
Waste not, not now or ever
on such crap as this.

EJD
04/01/07

Marie Antoinette: 2006

Starring: Kirsten Dunst

Plot: The retelling of France's iconic but ill-fated queen, Marie Antoinette. From her betrothal and marriage to Louis XVI at 15 to her reign as queen at 19 and to the end of her reign as queen and ultimately the fall of Versailles.

Haiku review

Dunst played perfectly
Austrian girl warmth
Inside cold French Monarchy

Movie: Flags of Our Fathers

Starring: Ryan Phillippe

Plot: The life stories of the six men who raised the flag at The Battle of Iwo Jima, a turning point in WWII.

Haiku Review
Army fucks Ira Hayes
Wind blows flag this way and that
So, what else is new ?

Movie: The Groomsmen

Written and Directed by: Ed Burns

Starring: Ed Burns, Jay Mohr, John Leguizamo

Plot: A groom and his four attendants wrestle with issues related to friendship and maturity a week before the big day.

Haiku Review

'nother fab Burns flick
of real people being real
so real, like blue trees

Movie: The Sopranos season finale

Starring: James Gandolfini, Edie Falco

Plot: Modern day morality tale about New Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano, as he deals with personal and professional issues in his home and business life.

Haiku Review

How I longed
for bloodspill finish,
bullets raining inside the diner

EJD
6/20/07