(Originally published in San Diego CityBeat Summer Guide issue 5.14.08.)
This is a partial list of interesting insects you might see in San Diego County this summer:
1. Jerusalem Cricket (Stenopelmatus fuscus): For the most part insects scare the crap out of me. Unless I am certain that it will not bite, sting, siphon, burrow, prick, infest, infect or inject its eggs into my brain and have the larvae eat my head from the inside out, I basically steer clear of any insect I encounter; especially the scary looking ones, and this Jerusalem cricket looks horrifying.
It is tinted orange with black and orange bands on its body. It looks like an evil Martian cricket sent to invade our planet one venomous sting at a time. The reality, however, is that they do not have poison glands and are not aggressive.
When encountered, I recommend squashing them under your boot until they are but a black and bloody splotch on your memory.
2. Green Fruit Beetle (Cotinis mutabilis): Also known as the June bug, these flying insects will invade your airspace around – you guessed it – June. You’ve seen them before. They are green and huge and clumsy and dumb. When I moved to San Diego and first witnessed one of those giant, green monstrosities, it scared the living scabies out of me. The way it loudly buzzed around the patio, bumping into everything with a resounding thud, made me mistake its stupidity for fearlessness and thinking it was most certainly coming to lay her eggs into my brainmeat.
Of course, they are utterly harmless, and for that reason, when encountering a June bug, batting them out of the air with a Wiffle Ball bat is recommended.
