Jesus had me doing crunches today.

His spiny fingers curled around my ankles.

He wanted me to do 6 million crunches.

I told him 20 was my limit.

Jesus lifted his shirt to inspire me.
He had a 70-pack on his abs.

Jesus charges 8 thousand dollars an hour
To be your personal trainer,

which is fair don’t you think,
being the Son of God and all?

Image by Ted Washington