It’s a day like any other. The Custodian sweeps the floor of a local high school, watching, listening.
“Help us!” Somebody screams.
The Custodian ducks into a nearby supply closet. He changes into his flying suit and cape and soars to the sky.
The Custodian is a superhero, of course, put on this planet to protect the sanctity of straight marriage, to sweep away any threats to the American family and mop the floor with whoever gets in his way. He is a guardian, a sentinel–a custodian of traditional wedlock.
“Help! Help!” the cries continue.
The Custodian has superhero hearing. He can locate a distressed marriage from the other side of the planet. These particular calls are coming from a married couple living in a Texas trailer park. With a powerful gust of wind, The Custodian lands on their doorstep.
“What seems to be the problem, trailer park couple?” he asks in his deep, confident superhero voice.
